To the girl who’s holding onto someone she shouldn’t,

Holding onto something that is over isn’t healthy, it will just make you unhappy. Whether you’re holding out hope that your ex-boyfriend will realize how badly he messed up or even if you’re still together but you know deep down that it’s over, you need to be strong enough to let go. Holding onto the hope that he’s going to come back to you is just holding yourself back from a better life.

It’s going to take time. You’re not just going to be able to forget and move on, but you have to make the decision that you need to let go. Once you make that decision, you will notice that you start doing things for yourself, no longer as a ploy to get that someone back into your life. You’re not going to automatically stop missing him, it is going to take a lot of time and effort but deciding to let go is the first step to moving on. A good friend of mine once told me that I need to stop and ask myself every time I do something whether it’s an outfit I’m trying to pick out or a party I’m wanting to go to, she told me I need to ask myself: “Am I doing this for me? Or am I doing this for him?” If the answer wasn’t for me, then I should never do it. (Thanks, Mer, love ya!)

To be clear, letting go doesn't mean hating the boy who did you wrong, it means to be indifferent toward him. To have no feelings at all. Trust me, it will take a long time to get there, I’m still in the angry stage myself. My hope is to get to the point where I just no longer care. I’ve heard the less you care, the more happy you’ll be. It is a waste of time to spend all of your time and energy hating him, whoever he is, he doesn’t deserve that kind of attention from you. Get to the point where you can smile at him when you see him out and about because you just don’t care anymore.

Realize your self-worth. Clearly, he did something really tragic to you and your heart is broken. Take the time to grieve the relationship loss, but then take the time to recognize what could’ve been better. You won’t have to dig that deep to find flaws within him and the relationship you had with him. And when you find those flaws, be thankful that you got out of the relationship so that you can find someone who will treat you the way you deserve.

Life is too short to be unhappy. That boy that is holding you back is so not worth it, let him go. Letting go can be hard, but in the end, you feel like the weight of the world is lifted off of your shoulders. If this relationship didn’t work out for whatever reason, then clearly God had another plan for you. Don’t let yourself fall back into the trap of trying to run into him, drinking way too much to forget him and then waking up in the morning to realize you drunk texted him. You’re way better than that and you’re just giving him the satisfaction of seeing how he turned your world upside down. Pick yourself up, wipe away those tears, put on that make-up and be the bad ass bitch that you are.

Love,

The girl who’s learning to let go