Dear me,
First of all, you are miraculous. You love without ceasing even when it's gotten you burnt. You've conquered literal and metaphorical oceans and you've stopped to smell the flowers every step of the way. With each contingency you've managed to pull through, and today will not be the day our winning streak changes. No one said life would be easy. No one could tell you that you'd develop a cold shoulder towards certain things or that names would make your heart break a little; this is all a part of becoming a Duchess of Jubilance.
Frankly, though I know this letter is making you feel a little weird (seriously, how can someone be so bad at keeping a journal to themselves?), we needed this. People can't better the world around them if they don't better the soul they house on a daily basis. You used to bend over backwards for everyone, and if there's anything college has proven, it's that you can't keep moving mountains for people that literally only gave you a pebble a time or two. I know that you used to think it was just about making sure everyone was happy, but you can't stretch yourself thin anymore. You deserve better than this. Don't stress, though, because we're getting there.
Think of the things you've accomplished. Think of the places you've traveled, the children you've mentored, and the people you've met. These events were blessings and privileges, and not everyone gets considered for the roles you've been given. You've been a queen of small town U.S.A. for goodness sake. Not everyone is going to be a fan of you, and that's okay. You've got to take care of yourself because, as you've recently discovered and will rediscover time and time again, some people would rather stick around and watch you burn than actively try to help you through the slumps.
In the future, you're going to make a difference. You're going to get that degree. You're going to make new friends, grow closer with the old ones, and discover higher levels of happiness than what's been found right now. You'll probably remain a cryer, but when your tear-ducts are practically sprinkler systems, people will grow to love and accept it, as well as laugh with you rather than at you. There will still be plenty of people that only have making you miserable on their agenda, but you're going to get better at pushing through that. You'll open your dream business and you'll spread smiles like you've always aimed for. Maybe you'll stop making self deprecating jokes (confidence is real, girl, and you can find it, too). You have so much ahead of you.
It's time to put back on your travel gear and stop trying to revisit the past. The people that matter will follow you every step of the way and won't mind the slip-ups. You're more than a few bad days and your occasional sass-offs. You're a lioness. Stop moping and start living, because the best stories never came from idle bodies and idle minds.
