Dear friend,

I’m not here to tell you to break up with him. That’s not at all what I want.

But don’t break up with me.

You stopped calling back, going out to lunch and on midnight ice cream runs. Your text got shorter and you leave me on read constantly.

What changed?

Listen, I’m sure he’s a great guy. In fact I know he is. I spent countless hours trying to make this friendship work by being the ultimate third wheel. And after weeks of only being a third wheel, I stopped seeing you all together. From than, any time I saw you in passing you were with him. There was never a moment I could get you alone for some quality girl time.

I want you to be happy. You deserve it. Seriously, I’m one of your biggest cheerleaders.

That’s why I don’t want you to loose all of your amazing friends over a boy.

Who was there before you started dating? Who spent hours over-analyzing everything about boys with you? Maybe you should ask yourself, what kind of friend are you becoming?

Let’s be honest, you might feel like you don’t need me anymore, but you do. Stop lying to yourself that you don’t miss me. I need you too and I’m here telling you I’ve needed you a lot recently. In fact, there’s been many times I’ve needed you and you weren’t there. It’s the little things that matter in friendships. You stopped studying with me, going on our nightly dinner dates and even going out with me on the weekends.

Your boyfriend is not suppose to be your only friend. You know it's true. This isn’t healthy.

I hope you don’t loose all of your friends over him, because a guy that makes you give up your friends is not the kind of guy you should be with. I never asked you to give up a boyfriend, so don’t sell me out. That’s unfair to both of us. You should be with somebody who supports and encourages your friendships.

Also, you’ve got goals and dreams. Remember? The moving to New York after graduation and really making something big of yourself. The crazy big dreams we talked about. Is he going to stop those too?

I don’t want to be the one to say this, but you need to hear it. This is tough love.

If he leaves you, it’s going to be just you. No friends, no dreams and no romance. And I’m not saying I’m going to leave you in the dust, but I will always know you as the girl who put a guy first in our friendship.

I don’t want you to resent this relationship because you gave it all up for a guy. Don’t let the insecurity of him leaving you motivate your relationship either. If he cares about you, he will encourage your other relationships. A real man isn’t going to let you compromise your happiness for his. I’m not saying he’s just another guy, but love should be selfless and full of understanding.

If anybody has been understanding, it’s been me. I tried understanding what I did wrong, but now I’m starting to understand that I’m not valued in your life anymore. At least like I used to be.

I’m a true romantic, and I love hearing about your love life, even if you’ve told me the same story a thousand times.

But when did you stop asking about mine? And when did that become the only topic of our conversations?

I want to know what you’re doing. I only know about your life based on your latest Instagram photo or occasional snapchat. I also want to tell you what I’ve been up to. How I’m traveling abroad and how my relationship ended over a text message. I called you the night he ended things, but you were with your boyfriend and couldn’t talk. I would never do that to you. I thought higher of you, and I thought you thought more of me.

I’m not going to tell you what to do, I’m just telling you what I fear for you and what I don’t want for you. You have some incredible things going for you, and hopefully you realize I was always there to support those and cheer you on.

You were a real friend to me, so this is my way of being a real friend back. You deserve to know.

Sincerely,

The girl who just wants her friend back.