It's been a long time since we've talked, and that makes me sad. Especially because the day we officially met, we talked until the sun came up. You listened to all my stupid stories and I listened to you vent about your problems. You became my best friend, but somewhere along the way, I lost you, so here's a letter to you with everything I've wanted to say in the months apart.
You and I had a great connection. We bonded so quickly and I felt so at ease talking to you. Maybe it was the way you made an effort to listen to me from across a room or the way you made me laugh off my embarrassments. Whatever it was, I loved being around you. It felt like we were meant to know each other. From the start, you told me about the tough times you were going through and the difficulties you were facing. I assured you everything would work out. As I always say, "time heals all wounds."
As the days went on, we grew much closer. We spent almost every night around each other just hanging out. Sometimes it was relaxing with a group and sometimes it was late night trips to your dorm to comfort you when you needed it. Either way, we were always together, always texting, always there for each other. You helped me when I felt down and struggled with myself and I did the same for you. At any hour of the day (or night), I was there to pick up the phone when you needed someone. I loved being your go-to person when things got tough. I felt so loved and appreciated knowing I was the person who could help you most.
Somewhere near the end of the first month of knowing you, we stopped talking frequently. You had found other friends, other places, other things to do. Sometimes you texted me just to say hi or that you wanted to see me soon, but we never really hung out. You were too wrapped up in hanging around people who supported bad choices and unhealthy paths. You were having so much fun though, because while I was gone for break, you found something to numb yourself. Something to forget, I guess. It was hard seeing you push people away, and it was even harder being one of those people.
About a month after we first met, I sat down with you one night and had a talk by the fire. I told you how much I cared about you and how much it hurt to see you pushing everyone away so you could get a fix of temporary happiness with your friends no one else liked. You didn't want to listen but I said it all anyways. Because I hoped that if anyone could get through to you, it would be me. I never knew how that turned out. We just stopped talking.
We haven't had a real conversation in close to four months. I see you out or in passing sometimes and we always used to hug and say hello, but it's not the same. That connection I felt on the first day we met isn't there anymore. It's like I don't even know you at all. You don't care to stick around for more than five text messages and more than 15 seconds of in-person conversation. Sometimes you don’t even look at me. Being pushed away was hard, but having to see you continue your life from a distance is just as hard. I cared so much about you from the get-go, but now I've given up on trying to always be there for you. I’ve given up on being your friend altogether.
In a short amount of time, we became so close. I started to care for you like I do everyone else in my life, and I had no shame in it. I wanted to help you as much as I could. I never told you this in our short friendship, but I loved you so much. I loved you the way I love my roommate, my mother, my baby cousin. I just wanted the best for you because it's so hard to watch someone you love turn into someone you don't want to. It's hard to let go and accept that you've done all you can do. I tried my hardest to be there, and I guess I'm done. Have fun with your new life.
