Dear straight people who go to gay clubs,
No one can stop you from going to a gay club. You are a free agent and there is no law banning you from entering a club that caters specifically to gay people. But just be aware that you are invading a safe space. You are not supposed to be there. Gay clubs are not just a place to get a drink, a hookup, or a dance. They are a sanctuary for members of the LGBT community. There’s a sense of unity and comfort there that isn’t at straight dominated places, which are EVERYWHERE ELSE.
Being surrounded by straight culture in every aspect of your life – from movies to music to TV – is frustrating and having a place where you can be surrounded by a culture that accepts and embraces you is important.
As one user on a Reddit thread said, “…please do not begrudge us this one public place on Earth where we can pay for the ‘privilege’ to hit on, dance with, and make out with people we actually find attractive without watching our backs.”
It doesn’t really matter how much you “love the gays” or consider yourself an ally to the LGBT movement. By being there, you are laying claim to a space that isn’t yours. If you’re out looking for something new to do on your Saturday night, go somewhere that is not a sanctuary for a minority that has been systemically oppressed by STRAIGHT PEOPLE. Girls, you’re looking for a place to dance where men won’t bother you? That’s great. Go dance in your room. Or any other club that caters to your needs. Not here.
“I get it: Straight people don't come to gay bars because they want to hate on gay people. They come because as the empowered majority, they feel entitled to access every space in the world.”
In addition, just because you have a few friends who are gay or were in your GSA in high school you are still not entitled to walk into a gay club. If you are truly that supportive of the LGBT community, you would know how sacred and important these spaces are and would respect that. If you are going with a friend who is part of the LGBT community, that’s fine. But you alone are not entitled to a spot in a place that was not made for you.
Straight people in a gay club is not always a harmless thing. Many people who frequent these clubs can probably tell you more than one story about that straight guy who started a fight with a gay man who hit on him or the straight girl that got upset when no one would dance with her.
Even if you’re not one of those people, you are still invading a safe space that was not made for you and further assimilating these clubs into just another place for straight people to party. The LGBT community may have become more widely accepted into the mainstream, but the conscious erasure of these safe havens is dangerous and upsetting.
You know that sense of isolation and awkwardness when you first walk into a gay club, the notion that you’re not supposed to be there already tugging at your sleeve? That’s how people in the LGBT community feel every day, surrounded by media and society that focuses prominently on straight people and their relationships. It’s also how they feel in your clubs and bars. Let them have this space that is just for them where they can be themselves without feeling any fear or discomfort.
Again, no one can stop you. But please be aware of what you’re doing when you go.
