Everybody goes through a point in their life where they struggle and lose themselves. Whether it is due to family issues, relationship trouble, mental illness, lack of confidence or other factors, we all lose sight of the person we want to be.
Change is the single most difficult thing to endure. Humans are automatically programmed to hate change in every single form. Changing yourself is even harder. We often fall into the habits of our old ways and continue to do the things we so badly want to stop.
I have made many mistakes recently and also for a long time in the past. I saw myself as unworthy of respect, I lacked confidence, I became negative and worst of all, I stopped loving the person I was. I began to base my opinion of myself on what others thought of me. Somebody made a comment about my outfit? It didn't mater that I liked it, it would never be worn again. Someone I considered a friend stopped talking to me? It had to be because of something I did or said.
I placed blame on myself constantly and began to hate who I was. I stopped smiling at people I passed, stopped holding doors for the person behind me, stopped striking up conversations and laughing in the carefree way I used to. I stopped being the happiest version of myself that I used to love.
I looked in the mirror one day and thought, "I can't go on like this." And so I'm not going to.
You can either let comments from others or tragic events or whatever shape your life or you can shape your own life.
So, future me, listen up. I don't know where you are going to be, what you'll be doing, who you will be surrounded by or any of that. But I do know one thing. Please be happy.
I hope you look at yourself in the mirror and love what you see. I hope you get up in the morning and drive to the job of your dreams. I hope you have a cute dog and nice clothes and the car you want.
But most of all, I hope you didn't let the struggles of you life change you for good. Nothing is worth looking at yourself differently over. And if you want to be different, if you want to be better, make the change happen. Don't wait for someone else to force you to change. Change for yourself.