An Open Letter To The Person I Wish To Become

An Open Letter To The Person I Wish To Become

I hope you are a force of nature all on your own.
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Everybody goes through a point in their life where they struggle and lose themselves. Whether it is due to family issues, relationship trouble, mental illness, lack of confidence or other factors, we all lose sight of the person we want to be.

Change is the single most difficult thing to endure. Humans are automatically programmed to hate change in every single form. Changing yourself is even harder. We often fall into the habits of our old ways and continue to do the things we so badly want to stop.

I have made many mistakes recently and also for a long time in the past. I saw myself as unworthy of respect, I lacked confidence, I became negative and worst of all, I stopped loving the person I was. I began to base my opinion of myself on what others thought of me. Somebody made a comment about my outfit? It didn't mater that I liked it, it would never be worn again. Someone I considered a friend stopped talking to me? It had to be because of something I did or said.

I placed blame on myself constantly and began to hate who I was. I stopped smiling at people I passed, stopped holding doors for the person behind me, stopped striking up conversations and laughing in the carefree way I used to. I stopped being the happiest version of myself that I used to love.

I looked in the mirror one day and thought, "I can't go on like this." And so I'm not going to.

You can either let comments from others or tragic events or whatever shape your life or you can shape your own life.

So, future me, listen up. I don't know where you are going to be, what you'll be doing, who you will be surrounded by or any of that. But I do know one thing. Please be happy.

I hope you look at yourself in the mirror and love what you see. I hope you get up in the morning and drive to the job of your dreams. I hope you have a cute dog and nice clothes and the car you want.

But most of all, I hope you didn't let the struggles of you life change you for good. Nothing is worth looking at yourself differently over. And if you want to be different, if you want to be better, make the change happen. Don't wait for someone else to force you to change. Change for yourself.


Cover Image Credit: Huffington Post

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Bailey Posted A Racist Tweet, But That Does NOT Mean She Deserves To Be Fat Shamed

As a certified racist, does she deserve to be fat shamed?
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This morning, I was scrolling though my phone, rotating between Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube and Snapchat again, ignoring everyone's snaps but going through all the Snapchat subscription stories before stumbling on a Daily Mail article that piqued my interest. The article was one about a teen, Bailey, who was bullied for her figure, as seen on the snap below and the text exchange between Bailey and her mother, in which she begged for a change of clothes because people were making fun of her and taking pictures.

Like all viral things, quickly after her text pictures and harassing snaps surfaced, people internet stalked her social media. But, after some digging, it was found that Bailey had tweeted some racist remark.

Now, some are saying that because Bailey was clearly racist, she is undeserving of empathy and deserves to be fat-shamed. But does she? All humans, no matter how we try, are prejudiced in one way or another. If you can honestly tell me that you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect after a brief first impression, regardless of the state of their physical hygiene or the words that come out of their mouth, either you're a liar, or you're actually God. Yes, she tweeted some racist stuff. But does that mean that all hate she receives in all aspects of her life are justified?

On the other hand, Bailey was racist. And what comes around goes around. There was one user on Twitter who pointed out that as a racist, Bailey was a bully herself. And, quite honestly, everyone loves the downfall of the bully. The moment the bullies' victims stop cowering from fear and discover that they, too, have claws is the moment when the onlookers turn the tables and start jeering the bully instead. This is the moment the bully completely and utterly breaks, feeling the pain of their victims for the first time, and for the victims, the bully's demise is satisfying to watch.

While we'd all like to believe that the ideal is somewhere in between, in a happy medium where her racism is penalized but she also gets sympathy for being fat shamed, the reality is that the ideal is to be entirely empathetic. Help her through her tough time, with no backlash.

Bullies bully to dominate and to feel powerful. If we tell her that she's undeserving of any good in life because she tweeted some racist stuff, she will feel stifled and insignificant and awful. Maybe she'll also want to make someone else to feel as awful as she did for some random physical characteristic she has. Maybe, we might dehumanize her to the point where we feel that she's undeserving of anything, and she might forget the preciousness of life. Either one of the outcomes is unpleasant and disturbing and will not promote healthy tendencies within a person.

Instead, we should make her feel supported. We all have bad traits about ourselves, but they shouldn't define us. Maybe, through this experience, she'll realize how it feels to be prejudiced against based off physical characteristics. After all, it is our lowest points, our most desperate points in life, that provide us with another perspective to use while evaluating the world and everyone in it.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter / Bailey

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15 Things Every Woman Will Learn After Watching 'Dumplin’'

A swimsuit body is a body with a swimsuit on it.

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Willowdean Opal is not your typical beauty pageant contest and I am here for it. So often bigger girls are indirectly told not to compete in beauty related things. As a society, we have shaped what beauty is, and that mold doesn't fit everyone.

After watching the Netflix movie "Dumplin'", I picked up 15 things said in this movie that everyone should hear.

1. The world is filled with people who are going to try to tell you who you are, but that’s for you to decide

Willowdean and her mom

Often time-based on our looks people decide which path we should go on. What things we should wear, eat and overall being. But at the end of the day, you decide who you want to be, no one else.

2. Speak clearly cause you never get a second chance at a first impression

Being Bold

First impressions are hard. What we sometimes lack is our confidence to stand up strong and be heard. So in order for us to have a voice we should speak with confidence and keep our head down otherwise we conform to ideas we don't all agree on. Silence is deadly, but our voices are sometimes the only thing we got.

3.Everyone has their own story

Every Story

It's hard for everyone not to go based on stereotypes when we meet new people. We find ourselves thinking that smaller girls have had no problems with guys, pageants and life. What "Dumpln'" showed us is that every person has their own story. And that life isn't easy for most people. We shouldn't judge others based on their outer appearances. Because what may be tearing one person down, can be covered by our outer bodies and hidden by a smile.

4. I get that you were just trying to protect me, but sometimes I need you to support me.

Support

We may not always agree with what our friends and family think its best for us. But what we need to do as a society is support one another. Life is all about learning from mistakes and making them. That develops character.

5. Speak from experience cause it shows you’ve lived a life worth paying attention to.

Experiences

We can easily put on a mask for people, almost as if we are competing to see who is happier. The truth is, we need to speak from our experiences, what we learned and what we are going through because that is what is going to get others to listen. All of our lives are worth a listen.

6. Every revolution starts small.

Rainbows

In order to see change, we need to be the change. We may want things to change in our society, but that all starts with you making small impacts on other.

7. Stop Rejecting people for things they can’t change.

Acceptance

If they can't change it in 10 seconds don't point it out. Often times we see that rejection takes on many forms. What we as a society need to stop doing, is rejecting people because of certain attributes they can't change for themselves. You have to ask yourself, what kind of person does that make me if I do not accept a person who goes out of my norm?

8.A swimsuit body is a body with a swimsuit on it.

All Are Swim Suit Bodies

This was by far my favorite line in the movie. When the warm weather approaches everyone always says "I have to get swimsuit body ready or I'll hate myself", but what we fail to realize is that everybody is a swimsuit body. We as people, come in many shapes and forms. And we think that everyone should look the same in a bikini. Wrong, we need to love ourselves the way that we are in order to better ourselves for the future.

9. I’m a beauty queen. I’m all of it.

All Beauty Queens

Even if you don't see yourselves as a beauty queen, does not mean you're not beautiful. You are everything and more.

10. Why does this hot guy want to kiss me?

Beauty in All Forms

Willowdean questioned why Bo would like a girl like her She thought society would question why this pair was together. Stop. We need to stop questioning if we are good enough and start realizing how amazing we are. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.

11. To hell with what everyone else thinks.

Bo

There are going to be people who are going to talk, but what Bo teaches us is to hell with everyone else opinions. What matters at the end of the day is what you think of yourself.

12. You're saying that every girl in this room is more deserving than me because I’m not built like them.

Empower

Women, we are taught at a young age that we are competitors. We have to be the best out of everyone. The problem arises when we start to think we are better than another person without hearing their story. Not every girl is going to be built the same, talk the same or dress the same. Accept the differences and bond with one another. We need to empower one another otherwise we conform to the hatred that is already bestowed upon us in society.

13. What do you say we finish for us?

For Us

Your goals should always be for you, and not anyone else.

14. I’m doing this for me.

I am Me.

If at any moment in your life you are questioned for doing your best you must recognize that you are doing this for you. When you do something for you, it has the greatest ending.

15. Why are you here?

Here To Stay

As women in our society, we are going to be questioned about our reason for being in the position that we are in. It is up to us to break the glass ceilings and show everyone what we are truly made of.

There were many amazing scenes in "Dumplin'" and I believe it is an amazing movie about body acceptance and empowerment. Empowerment of others is the key to growth in our society.

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out?

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