Hey You,
I hope you're doing well and life's treating you kindly. I hope you're doing everything you said you wanted to do and overall I hope you're happy. But deep down inside of me, I kind of hope that you're not. I shamefully admit that a little part of me doesn't wish you the best simply because you did that to me. I'm not bitter or angry anymore, I'm passed that now. I just wish I could blame you for what you made me feel, but I can't and I shouldn't. Out of everything I feel, disappointment is the most prominent. I made a lot of mistakes while I was with you. I put you on such a high pedestal and maybe that was my own fault because I gave you such high standards that were so out of reach. I let my judgement get clouded by the perfect image I created for you in my head, that was my first mistake.
I seemed to always forget was that you were a person and you made mistakes just like everyone else. No one's perfect and I think the problem with us was I thought that you were. You weren't perfect and neither was I, but what we had was lovely. My mind always drifts back to the good times where we were carefree, exploring everything and enjoying each others company. The times where my heart was swollen with love and I only cried when I was laughing too hard. The times when you would stare just because you loved to look at me. The times where you'd randomly confess your appreciation for me and how I was your favorite person. I miss those times, I miss the person you were back then. But I'm not foolish and I vividly recall the bad times. You weren't always good to me. You weren't always a nice, incredible person whom I adored. You didn't always listen to me when I was telling you a story and you repeatedly cut me off mid-sentence. You didn't always say thank you and you rarely apologized for hurting my feelings. You said making time for me was a hassle and never neglected to remind me of it when we did see each other. My infatuation with you let me forget about all these flaws though, and that was my second mistake.
I want to apologize for ever making you feel inferior. I'm sorry for being such a difficult person to deal with and for blowing things out of proportion 90% of the time. I'm sorry that I wasn't secure enough with myself and that I needed constant reassurance from you. I'm sorry I wasn't as strong as I am now and that I apologized for being me as if I was the problem. I thought I was the only source of of trouble between us, that was my third mistake.
I don't want to dwell on the negatives so I guess I should thank you. Thank you for giving it your all even though it didn't work out in the end. Thank you for making me so happy and for being a wonderful person in general. Thank you for every night you stayed up to talk to me even though we had to wake up early. Thank you for always knowing what to say to calm me down. Finally, thank you for being you. I don't think I told you enough but you were an amazing person from your head to your toe. You were my favorite person because you always were a shoulder to cry on and you had a great outlook on life and I was in awe of that. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but you aren't one of them. So thank you for everything, the good and the bad, because it made me the person I am today and it is a building block for the foundation of the person I want to be tomorrow.
Sincerely,
A Better-Off Me
