There is something in “finding yourself," that is an irreplaceable high. Recently, I’ve felt stressed beyond belief, tested in many aspects, and unsure of what the right next move is, and I know I’m not the only one. But friends, I’m here to tell you what I’ve discovered about finding yourself and guiding your own life.

1. Heart breaks are good. Most of us will experience our great heart break between ages 16-26 (according to psychology.com). I would consider us the lucky ones. In order for there to be heart break, there first must be love, a great, great love. At least for mine there was. Tears, arguments, friendships, pain, oh they have it all. Yet in all of that mess you count on yourself to pull through. You occasionally learn how to forgive or how to let go, how to not hold a grudge, or to be patient. I’m a lucky one. My heart break filled my life with joy mostly. Life lessons, love, and no matter how far away we push, he will be my best friend. How? some of you may ask. Unfortunately, that is a question I haven’t answered yet, but I know it’s somewhere in all of us to forgive. To recognize that the bigger picture, the lesson from it all, is to let go, move on, and find a way to be happy again.

2. Friendships do come and go, this is true. It’s okay to want to fight for them, but it’s okay to watch them fade too. I’m a firm believer that each and every person you meet, has come into your life for a reason, and they left for one too. I lost one of my very best friends, as in we faded away, drifted apart, say it how you wish. Could we have prevented it? Sure. But at the same time, part of me recognized no matter how far we drifted, I would love her with all my heart forever, she helped me become me. I saw how happy she was and ultimately that’s what a friendship is about. Not jealousy, or matching bracelets, not only having each other to rely on for everything. It’s to watch your best friend find what makes her happy, with you or with something else. My other two close friends live (or are going to live) miles and miles away from me. Yeah, it does suck. But our relationships have and will continue to grow stronger and more mature the longer we start appreciating the few times we do see one another. Motivate them to achieve their dreams no matter how many miles, hours, or gas stops they are away from you. A true friendship isn’t measured in how many times you talk every day, or how many times you see them. Friendship is loving someone so much that no matter where or what, they can tell you “it’s okay” and mean it. Friendship is how many pair of each other’s clothes you have in your closet. Friendship is genuine happiness for the other, not envy. A true friendship is feeling proud for all that the other accomplishes.

3. Family is a prize possession, an asset, a promise. Every family is different, but majority of us are built on the same foundation- unconditional love. I don’t want to say my family is amazing, because they are SO much more than that. The endless support I receive from throwing my first pitch on a softball field, to my first real day at college. That’s not something you can buy, or share ever- but it is something to cherish. Respect your family, love your family, appreciate every little bit of flaws you have as a family. Take with you that this is the only family you will ever have, and that with their love, support, trust, and loyalty, you can achieve anything. My dad is a quirky man who not only makes my stomach hurt from laughing, but also will forever be a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes I feel that nobody in this world will ever understand me like my dad does. Like he can read my mind, or we have a special language only we know. (Watch out husband, you have huge shoes to fill.) My mother is the most tender hearted person this world will ever see. Her smile makes me smile because of how genuine it is. My mother is my confidant, my anchor, and my role model. She drives me insane and I really hate when she makes me do the dishes- but that woman is one hell of a mom. I get told a lot that I’m a mini version of my mother, and as much as I pretend to hate it, nothing makes me happier than knowing one day I could be just like her. My biggest sister, she listens, she always listens. Whether it be me rambling about what I ate for lunch or me crying about how I don’t know where I’m going in life. She is my go to. She cares so much about everyone around her, I can’t imagine how she has enough care in her heart for herself. My middle sister is my companion, my love, my everything really. She was one of the biggest parts of my childhood, and for that I will never be able to thank her. She is capable of so many amazing things, she just doesn’t know it yet. I wish I could write in words how thankful I am for her being my sister, but no words come to mind. Really, no words can be used to describe how thankful I am for all of these nuts I call family members- but God, I love them and love everything each of them has taught me.

4. Lastly, on to yourself. Learning how to please yourself is ultimately one of the most difficult parts of life you will face. I have yet to figure out that step, but I am a work in progress. We fear to be alone, for obvious reasons, yet we find most of our solace alone. The main person you count on is you. Go to a movie alone, go to eat alone, lie by yourself. Test yourself, push yourself, take risks, be selfish sometimes. Find the you you want to be, and then be them. It’s okay to not always know. In fact, it’s good to accept the fact that a large percentage of your life will consist of having no damn idea what you’re doing. What the right thing to do is, what will make society happy, where you’ll be in 10 years, or what your first born child’s name will be. It’s the unknown that drives us to achieve, to figure it out. The uncomfortable unknown is an inevitable struggle we all face. Life is just a long journey of “figuring it out”. Trust yourself.

As I draw to a conclusion, I would like to simplify this for you: Life is tough. Curve ball after curve ball, it comes at you whether you feel prepared for it or not. No aspect of life, love, or relationships will be simple, because if it was, what would you ever learn about yourself? Life is an unguided journey to figuring out who you are and how to be happy. No matter how old you are or where you live or how much money you have, you’re capable of finding a true happiness and leading the wonderful life you so desire. I took for granted the little things, and got caught up in a lot of pain and drama trying to figure it all out, but no feeling trumps the way you feel when you can look back on something and smile to yourself knowing, this shaped me, I got through that, I’m proud of ME. It’s a beautiful life I lead, and I’m ready to grasp it and fly with it, and I can’t wait for all that comes my way. I’m ready life- show me what you got.