An Open Letter To People Who Think ADHD/ADD Is An Excuse
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To People Who Think ADHD/ADD Is An Excuse

Our brain just works differently than yours

3873
An Open Letter To People Who Think ADHD/ADD Is An Excuse

To the person who doesn’t know what it is like inside the brain of a person with ADHD/ADD,

ADHD/ADD is a common behavioral disorder within children and adults. It can last for many years or it can last a lifetime. ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. People who have this disorder don’t develop it — they are born with it. ADD is basically the same disorder as ADHD, but without the hyperactivity symptom. Otherwise, the symptoms are about the same. The hyperactivity part of ADHD tends to make you a little more fidgety. I was someone who was born with this disorder.

If you believe that this is just an excuse for my poor actions and poor academic performance, it’s not.

ADHD/ADD is a blessing and a curse. The worst part is not being able to focus for a long period of time. Have you ever sat in a class and just got so bored you completely spaced out? I am sure you have because it happens to everyone.

Well, that feeling is what I have to fight constantly.

I have to fight my own brain every single day just to focus for the entirety of class time. It isn't easy and, once I get to that spacing out place, it is very difficult to come back. I start to think "stop spacing out" and then I start thinking "why am I spacing out? I shouldn’t be, I should be paying attention." It is just a whole downward spiral from there. Yes, I do take medication but they are not a miracle pill.

There is no cure for my ADHD/ADD, there is only treatment — treatment that isn’t permanent. I have to take pills every single day of my life, which, as much as some of you might see as “cool,” it isn’t.

I wish I could wake up every morning and get dressed for school and go to school and not have to worry, "did I take my meds?"

But, I can’t.

When I tell stories, I can't do it without moving my hands or acting out some of the things that happened. People stare because they have no idea why I can't tell a story to someone and just sit still. I can't just sit there and tell the story or my mind will go somewhere else, I’ll lose my place in the story and the story just won’t be the same.

Listening to someone’s story is hard, too, because I have to focus really hard to keep my attention on what they are saying or I'll drift halfway through the story and won’t be able to focus back until the very end of the story. Besides the whole moving around while telling a story or having a conversation with someone, I most of the time am asked to slow down while talking because they cannot understand when I am speaking so quickly. But I speak so quickly because that's the pace my mind is going at.

My mind is racing with my thoughts and if I don’t speak as fast, having a conversation would last much longer than it really has to be because, chances are, I will remember something I forgot to say earlier because I was speaking slower than my brain.

Ever have a sugar rush as a kid? That is pretty much how I feel inside my body every day.

I feel like I have so much energy.

Ever feel like you met someone with “no filter”?

Well, if you haven’t spoken with someone with ADHD/ADD, you really do not know the true meaning of that. I for one really do regret some of the things I say because I just don’t think before I speak sometimes because my mind doesn’t slow down in enough time. I have to remind myself when I go out or hang with friends that I have to be careful with what I say and think twice before I speak. I think that is why I really enjoy texting so much because I can really try and think about what I am going to say before I hit send because I can type something and then realize after it wasn’t the best. However, sometimes I send things before I think about it but it happens.

Have you ever tried to watch someone with ADHD/ADD read a book? Or ever see one try to write an essay? Ever seen an ADHD/ADD kid take the SATS/ACTS?

If you haven’t, let me tell you, they will probably move positions every two minutes or less. They will be holding the right or left page top corner of the page feeling it over and over as they read. They will look up constantly. They will start following the words with their fingers. They just cannot sit still. They physically cannot sit still.

So if you ever wondered why that kid in your class can’t just sit down in their seat and stay still, it’s probably because they really cannot physically do it. With or without medication, we physically cannot sit still.

This disorder affects men more than women. Children with ADHD/ADD can struggle with a wide variety of symptoms. Children struggle with low self-esteem, troubled relationships and poor performance in school. Sometimes the symptoms can lessen over time but some people never completely outgrow their ADHD/ADD symptoms.

Although you will struggle with it, there are ways that we can be successful. There is no cure for ADHD/ADD. There is only treatment. I am one who suffers day-in and day-out with ADHD/ADD. I can tell you for sure that it is not an excuse that we use for when we act or do poorly in school. The way your brain works is not the way mine works. Have you ever sat in a class and maybe taken a page of notes but still remember the things you didn’t write down because they just stuck in your brain? Well, there is nothing like that for a ADHD/ADD kid. When I take notes, I write way more than I probably have to but I don’t know what I will remember and what I won’t remember so, to be safe, I have to write it all down. Like, for example, if you professor/teacher said you have a quiz next week on Monday, chances are you will probably remember it and, if I haven’t written it down, I won’t remember it until the day of and probably until I get to class.

With all these struggles that I feel every day that people just cannot understand, I refuse for them to believe that any of that is an excuse for the things I do. It is an explanation.

There is a difference between an excuse and an explanation. An excuse is an attempt to lessen the blame or defend or justify. An explanation is a statement or an account that makes something clear.

Just because I suffer from ADHD/ADD does not excuse me from anything, I am still held responsible for my actions.

If I know myself that I will not be able to complete an assignment on time, I will not just hand it in late. I would do what everyone should do if they know they’re going to be late on something and speak to the teacher/professor. If I personally know I did not understand something, I am not going to just sweep it under the rug and hope I do okay on the exam. I would go to the professor/teacher and ask for clarification or ask for them to explain it to me again.

I refuse to let my teachers/professors just hand me my extension because of a piece of paper that says I have ADHD.

It would be the easier way out but I don't want to be treated differently by anyone.

Besides ADHD/ADD, you should never look at a special needs child with any type of any disability where they are excused from assignments or from certain things differently because they aren’t, they just have accommodations. Their accommodations might seem as "the easier assignment to you," but to the child or adult with the disability, it’s not easier, it’s how you feel about the original assignment. All throughout schooling for myself, I know I have had accommodations. I am not ashamed I did, but I believe that my peers and others who didn’t understand or know my situation saw it as "because I had this disability, I did not have to do the assignment that a majority of the class was doing." I was just given a different assignment that was equivalent to the one everyone else was doing. The assignment that I was given was what I am able to understand.

I am not saying that having ADHD/ADD makes you have to have a “dumbed down” assignment. It is not “dumbed down,” it is just put into terms that I would understand. It is like translating Spanish to English for someone who only understands English. So, when I or anyone else says that they have ADHD, they are not telling you so you can excuse them for their actions. They are telling you to allow people to know so that they have a better understanding why you might act or do things differently.


Sincerely,

The girl who struggles with ADHD every single day
From Your Site Articles
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70967
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132532
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments