Dear Patriarchy,

It is safe to say that you are past your prime (if you ever even had one). Society has reached the point of enlightenment where you benefit no one.

You have never benefited women. Nor people of color. Nor the LGBTQ+ community. Nor any other "minority" group. And that was low of you: to only help out one specific group of people (not the "majority," I might add). But now, patriarchy, you have reached the lowest low, because you do not even benefit the men you were created to serve. Just as you have systematically denied basic human rights to every other group of people, you deny a basic right to men too: the right to express emotion.

Boys today are raised in a culture that undermines sensitivity and respect. They're expected to be assertive to get what they want, and they grow up having phrases like "real men don't cry" repeated to them over and over again. They are pretty much not allowed to hug each other, and it's frowned upon to get too attached to one girl. Yet, as outdated as this may seem, boys still receive overwhelming messages that having sex will make them a man.

In other words, a man's worth is measured by his level of aggression/assertiveness, his ability to keep the people around him at arm's length and his performance in bed. None of these are acceptable ways to measure a person's worth.

My point is not to argue that the challenges dealt to men by the patriarchy are worse or even at the same level as the challenges faced by other groups. African Americans and other people of color still battle to overcome biases and stereotypes. Women are still fighting against the objectification of our bodies.

This demeaning practice in particular is a direct result of the patriarchy and the issues innate to it. Because it is men who objectify our bodies. But it is men who have never learned any other way. They are not allowed to feel, yet they're supposed to be sexually experienced. This is why even nice boys can fall into the trap of viewing you differently when you start a relationship with them. Without even realizing it, they may think that to be in a relationship they must love you as a woman, not as a person. Because, according to you, patriarchy, this is the only way for them to be a man.

But that's wrong. For me, a boy who is able to see me as a person instead of just a woman is the only kind of man I want to be with.

Boys, it is OK to have emotions. It is OK to love a girl. It is OK to love your best friend. It is OK to cry and it is OK to laugh so hard your face hurts. It does not make you any less of a man.

Cisgender, straight, white men may not face as many violations under the patriarchy as other groups, but telling them not to express emotion is still a violation. Emotions are what make us human. Yet the patriarchy is trying to take the human away from man.

Patriarchy, you undermine too many basic rights. And we are catching on to your tricks. It is time for you to step aside because we are going to establish a better social system.

Just wanted to give you a heads up.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Feminist