To my younger sister,
As I look back on the four years that I spent in high school I wish there was a guide to help me make it through some of the most challenging and emotional times in my life. Whether it be about school work, friends and family drama, or the cute new boy in English class a few words of advice would have been helpful.
The most important thing to remember is that no matter what you are going through, you are going to get through it. You may think life is horrible for a while but I promise you that everything is going to be okay. And I’m only ever going to be a phone call away.
Since you are only in 8th grade right now, I want to start off by saying that middle school friendships and boyfriends DO NOT MATTER. I know in the moment everything seems like it is the biggest deal in the entire world but I promise you that by next year at this time you will have forgotten all about the stupid boy and the stupid drama. Middle school alone is probably one of the worst times of your life, and the drama does not help the matter. Everyone's hormones are raging and making them go a little more nuts than usual. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t freak out right away when your friend hooks up with the boy you like. Sit back for a minute and think about what you are doing.
You don't need to conform! I know it is hard to feel comfortable in your body sometimes but just because your friends are wearing and doing certain things does not mean that you HAVE to do it. If you want to wear a dress to school but all your friends are wearing leggings, wear the dress. Wear what makes YOU look good, happy, and confident. If your friends start to drink, which they will in the next year or two, don’t feel pressured to drink just because they are. Drinking is not something you can do without a certain level of maturity; it can be a very serious and dangerous thing.
Though I know you will try and make your social life a priority, always remember that school work comes first. College is the most important thing. I’m not saying that you need to spend 24/7 making sure you memorized all the material for a test, but you have to make sure that you don’t waste your entire time hanging out with friends. Your GPA matters! That however does not mean that you need to be a perfectionist. As much as it is important to get good grades, that one 70 you are inevitably going to get on a math test is not going to make or break if you go to your dream school or not. Trust me, I got plenty of 70s and I managed to make it out of high school with flying colors.
Your friend group in high school is destined to change. With that in mind as long as you have a couple true friends through thick and thin, you will be okay. You need these girls to help you stay grounded and on the straight and narrow.
When dealing with boys, DO NOT OVERTHINK!!!! Overthinking will slowly kill you and your social life. When you overthink a situation in private, you become awkward in public when dealing with your crush. Just always remember to stay calm. When you think with a clear head you are so much more likely to get the outcome you are looking for in any situation.
Boys are NEVER worth your tears. You want to be the one that breaks hearts and confuses boys, not the other way around. If a guy is playing games just end things before it gets too complicated.
Always remember that boys always want what they can't have. They always come back when they realize you have moved on. But honestly, the mind games are just not worth it. Go for the boys that are nice to you and genuinely want to be with you, not the guy that makes you second guess every text you send and cry yourself to sleep at night. I know this is easier said than done, but if you can figure out early on that the nice guys are the good guys your life will be so much easier.
Now to sum everything up, you only have one reputation and you need to make sure you don’t ruin it. Stay smart and level headed and I promise you, you will go far.
Love,
Your college freshman sister
