Dear NYC The City,

Growing up you were always there. The distant backyard of skyscrapers serving as a global backdrop to my small-scale life. When I was six, you were just where The American Girl store was. When I was 13, I ventured in oh-so-casually for my Broadway fix. Come 16 and you were the birthday destination for every south shore girl as a trade-off for her bat mitzvah. Senior year and you'd be crazy to think we'd go to the actual school sanctioned after-prom. Why not close down Capitale for some senior year fun?

A big playground. That's what you were.

I'm from Long Island, but I might as well call home to Westchester or Jersey for all intents and purposes of this letter. Because, to paraphrase Suffern-native Carole Radziwill, "We live too far from the city to be real New Yorkers, yet too close to form our own separate identities."

Flash forward and now I'm a few months shy of turning 20. I've since left the comfort of Long Island and the tri-state area, pursuing my education closer to another east coast metropolis: Boston.

But, let me be the first to say Boston is not New York.

Boston is beautiful. It’s clean, family-friendly, and you can walk the streets without fear of a stampede. It has a great history and culture, no matter what you think of the Red Sox.

But it lacks the gritty magic of New York and the overwhelming sensation of stepping out of Penn Station. The invincible feeling that pumps through your veins as you walk down 7^th street, knowing anything and everything is possible. It lacks Brooklyn, the Bronx, Staten Island, and Queens; all the crazy cousins that make up a family.

But hey, Boston, it’s not your fault. There’s no city in the world that could replicate what New York has. It’s not you, it’s us.

Here I am, going on a tangent for my love of the city when I really need to get to the heart of the matter — I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I know Boston’s transit better than I do New York’s. I’m sorry because you truly don’t realize what you have ‘till it’s gone.

Being away at school makes me miss home a lot. I love talking about home, but going into Boston makes me feel more at ease. It gives me that sense of familiarity growing up 45 minutes from Manhattan. As much as my Beantown escapades comfort me, they throw me for a loop. I never gave much thought growing up next to NYC. It was all I knew. It’s not a big deal — it’s just “the city.” But now, I realize how much it has changed my perspective and how much I take it for granted.

The Yankees versus Red Sox rivalry. The New York Marathon. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Rockefeller Plaza’s Christmas Tree lighting. New Year’s Eve in Times Square. The U.S. Open. All major national events that call the city home.

Even in little day-to-day occurrences, New York plays a role. Think of where most of your movies and TV shows are filmed. How about when you wake up in the morning and watch "The Today Show" or "Good Morning America"? Or when you go to bed at night after a dose of "SNL" or "The Tonight Show"? Growing up it seemed natural to me that these little nuances of my life revolved in and around New York City. But being away from the concrete jungle I’ve realized how lucky I have been to call the center of the world, my world.

You see, growing up outside of the city has its pros and cons.

The main pro is you can go into the city with ease whenever you want to, and maintain the perfect balance of native and tourist upon arrival. I feel at home walking the streets of New York, but I’d be lying to you if I said I no longer get excited seeing the first glimpse of Times Square or that I know Manhattan like the back of my hand.

One con is we live far enough away from the city that it can be easily mistaken as a hassle to go to. The LIRR and other forms of transit are ridiculously overpriced, and so is the city itself. We have enough traffic as a result of being main vessels to and from the largest city in the country, so we are quick to run away from the hustle and bustle than toward it. That’s why most New Yorkers have not seen the Statue of Liberty. I couldn’t tell you what it looks like from the top of the Empire State Building. So blasé.

But maybe it's time we ditch the attitude. Because as I continue to meet new people in college, I realize how my city is a place where people dream of going. Some even work their whole lives to get there. And here I am, complaining about the train fare and passing up what some people consider ‘’once in a lifetime.”

This summer I tried to venture in more. We took my youngest sister into the American Girl doll store for her sixth birthday (I wasn’t kidding! A rite of passage), I celebrated my three-year anniversary in Manhattan, and had a wonderful brunch in the lower-east side to kick-off my friend’s 21^st. Not technically “the city,” but I enjoyed some moments at Coney Island for the first time and got to experience all of Brooklyn from a single rooftop view. Some family and friends made comments like “is it really worth the trip?” and I would think of my college friends who would scoff at a 45-minute ride like it’s a no-brainer.

So, New York, I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry I didn’t fully realize all the opportunity, adventure, and sights to behold in such a small distance from me. I promise to brave the LIRR more (but if the tickets get raised a dollar more, we might have to revisit this).

Yours truly,

Madison