I know, Mom, it’s frustrating, but here is what you don’t understand.

Our generation is different. We Tinder instead of talk in person. We hook up instead of commit. We friend someone on Facebook instead of asking him on a date, and we are constantly competing for who cares about the other person less.

In a world where girls are impressed by his like on their Instagram selfie, or the fact that he texted first two days in a row, our parents can’t seem to understand why their precious, beautiful little girl is living the single life and complaining about it. We unfortunately cling on to our high school boyfriends because to us, it is the only realistic shot we have at an emotional relationship in this noncommittal, casual hook-up culture.

Tinder is the epitome of our generation. Just a few filtered photos determine whether or not we will share a brief, awkward conversation most likely about sex or physical attributes. For those few relationships that have come out of Tinder, God bless. For the rest: what a superficial waste of time.

Classic Thanksgiving dinner questions range from, so any boys? Have you been on any dates? Why is a beautiful girl like you still single? I’m sure all the boys are chasing you. Thousands of boys at college and you can’t give one a chance? Actually, yes.

Let us do the math.

When you factor out those who you are not attracted to (emotionally, or physically, or both) and factor out the gay guys, you’re left with a very small pool of guys, even smaller if you go to a small school. And those boys? Usually taken by a handful of lucky girls.

In return, we guard ourselves by claiming we aren’t interested in a relationship. We claim we want to be single after a terrible prior relationship or that we don’t have time for a boyfriend. We find any excuse to pretend we agree with the hook-up culture and that we are rationally choosing to be a sidepiece that doesn’t even get a birthday text. We know we deserve more, but we don’t demand it.

Sometimes we should think—in the midst of these late night booty calls and drunken mistakes—would I want my daughter being treated this way? Would I want my son to treat a girl like I’m being treated? It’s hard for our parents, aunts, and uncles to understand the hook-up culture of today. It blows their minds that we don’t have a million guys texting us begging to go on dates with them.

We are flattered by Tinder matches with hot guys rather than an invitation to get drinks. We find an excuse to turn down the few nice guys who want to go on dates in order to protect ourselves against the ten guys who screwed us over.

So Mom, I want a boyfriend just as much as you want me to have a boyfriend. I’ll never admit it, and neither will my friends, but this is why. We are a generation of likes, comments, retweets, and matches, and sometimes I’d rather go back to the 1960s when girls got pinned. At least that’s commitment.