Dear First-Time Mothers,
Congratulations! Entering motherhood is such a rewarding experience as you watch your little one learn and grow each day. It comes with challenges just like many things in life. I remember bringing my daughter, Sophia home from the hospital and second guessing everything I was doing. Seven months later, it feels like a juggling act. It’s rough. Some days, I don’t know how I’m going to get everything done. Then I amaze myself at all my accomplishments. I would love to tell you that it gets easier, but at this point, I’m not sure it does. I think you just learn to adapt to the craziness!
If you are still enjoying the wonderful newborn stage, cherish it! It goes by way too fast and you will miss it. I thought that I couldn’t wait until Sophia was a little older, but now I would love to go back to when she was firstborn. I know those early weeks can be difficult because you are still adjusting to life with a baby. It is no longer just you and your significant other. You are no longer able to keep your child safe within your body. It’s scary, new, life-changing, hard and amazing.
You may feel like you’re doing everything wrong because it’s different once you are actually in charge of taking care of another little human being 24/7. You hear opinions and advice from everyone and their mother about how you need to start sleep training, how to properly burp a baby, how often your child should be eating, etc... Seriously, you thought all the unsolicited advice during pregnancy was bad, after you actually give birth it just keeps coming your way!
You know what is best for your family, though. There is no magical parenting guide that can be found in some bookstore or by searching on Google. You got this. You’ll learn what works best for you and your new baby. It can take time to get a routine down. Just remember to enjoy it every step of the way because you will never get these days back.
If you’re feeling like you have “lost” yourself, you’re not alone. I didn’t feel like my usual, put together self after I had Sophia. I was used to having my hair/makeup done every day, showering daily, and clean clothes on. After you throw a newborn in the mix, those things take a backseat for a while. That’s ok, you will get back to that. It just takes time.
Your body is still adjusting from giving birth. Your hormones may be all over the place. I found myself crying over the most random things after I gave birth. I remember when I was about 4 week’s post-partum and I cried over an episode of Undercover Boss. Who does that?!? Like usual, the boss at the end of the episode generously gave an employee money to pay off his debt and sent him on a fabulous, much-needed vacation with his family. I was more emotional post-partum than I was during pregnancy. That part does get better as your hormones go back to normal.
There may be a lot of things that you weren’t expecting after giving birth. Your relationship with your significant other will change a lot. It’s hard to find alone time together with a baby. Your life becomes all about the baby and sometimes it might seem like your relationship is just on the back burner. Just remember that your partner is probably just as tired as you. They are adjusting to this new change right along with you.
Date nights shouldn’t stop. They are vital because you still need that time together. If finances are an issue with making that happen, there are all kinds of free date ideas. My husband and I recently had a friend babysit for a couple hours so we could go to the park to play Pokémon Go. It was so nice to get out of the house and have some one on one time together. You could also just stay home and cuddle up in front of a movie.
If you weren’t blessed with amazing genes, then you may be feeling less than confident with your new post-baby body. If you’re breastfeeding, you may have heard or read that the weight will just fall off. While it’s true that producing milk burns calories, I still consider the weight loss from breastfeeding to be a myth. I figured that I wouldn’t have any problems losing the 70 pounds I packed on during pregnancy. I was so very wrong. Even if regular exercising and dieting, it hasn’t been an easy journey.
It has now been seven months since I have given birth and I am only 16 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m slowly getting there, but I’m ok with that. You should embrace your body after giving birth. It did an amazing thing! You gave life to a human being, go easy on yourself. Your body may never look the same, but now you have something so much better than that. I know the stretch marks, loose skin, and extra pounds can be upsetting. I just came to terms with my post-baby body. I’m actually proud of it and feel blessed to it have now. There are so many women who long to be able to say that they have a post-baby body.
Once you return to work, you might find the mommy guilt setting in. I still feel guilty when I leave for work and come home exhausted. It can be hard finding that balance. I just keep reminding myself that I am financially providing or my daughter and allowing her to have a better life. It doesn’t always make the guilt disappear, but some days it does help. There is nothing wrong with being a working mother. When your child grows up, has a family of their own, they will appreciate all your hard work.
Being a mother is a truly incredible feeling. I wouldn’t change my crazy life for anything. There are times where I miss having the freedom to do whatever I want at any given moment, but I traded that life for something worth so much more. I enjoy watching my daughter learn and grow each day. Don’t try to rush through the early weeks or months of motherhood. Take it in because before you know it, your child will be in your shoes one day.
