Mom,
There are endless things I could thank you for. First of all, thank you for giving me life, for giving me the chance to make friends, for the chance to make life one day, just as you did. Thank you for nurturing me when I was bedridden. Thank you for having my back when I was in a bad situation. Thank you for everything, really, but if there is one thing that I truly need to thank you for… it’s that I need to thank you for every single time that you held me when I felt depressed.
Depression sucks. There is no denying that, and people who don’t know what it’s like to feel depressed will never truly understand it. They say, “Oh, I had a bad day at work. I feel so depressed.” This is infuriating because they think that being “depressed” simply means you feel sad or crappy. What these people don’t understand is that sadness is only a small part of what makes a person depressed. Depression is a whole lot of things. Some days, I do feel sad. I won’t lie, but some days, I lock myself in my room and isolate myself because I can’t mentally or emotionally deal with other people. Sometimes, I am surrounded by people, some I know, some I don’t know, and I just feel lonely. I don’t know why, but I do. I, often, can’t see myself in the future. I feel as if I am failing, but I’m so grateful to have a mother, like you, who understands what I’m going through and refuses to leave my side.
I consider myself to be very blessed. Not everybody with depression has supportive parents, so I am especially thankful for that. I am thankful for the many times that you have sat on the phone with me for hours while I cried. I am thankful for the times that you sat with me, holding me while I tried, hopelessly, to pull myself together. I am for thankful for all the times that you picked up the phone, at the most inconvenient times, to listen to all of my problems. I am thankful for all of the times that you assured me that I wasn’t a failure. I am thankful for all of the times that you picked me up and brushed me off when I struggled to pick myself up. I am thankful that you were open to experiment and try new things to help me feel better. When I came home bawling and screaming that I needed medication or I was going to lose it, You agreed. You didn’t ask questions. You trusted me. You trusted my judgement. You sat with me and soothed me and told me she would do what she could.
It isn’t always easy supporting someone with depression. Honestly, it can be a lot of work. To have a mother who supports me as an individual, depression and all, is unreal. I can’t even imagine caring for someone with depression along with coping with your own problems, work, cleaning, bills, and all around adulting. I don’t know how you do it. I really don’t, but I’m grateful that you do. You provide the essentials like food and shelter. You provide extra things for me like a cell phone or an education, things that aren’t always necessary, but best of all, you provide me with mental health care, whether it is helping me get an appointment with a therapist or talking to me one on one, you have always been there for me.
Thank you mom,
Your depressed (but forever grateful) child
