An Open Letter To You

An Open Letter To You


Hickey Family


The fact that it has been over a year since you died still baffles me. It's weird to think that so much has happened since you passed, and there are so many more years to come. I wish you could be a part of them. But, on a happy note, both Brian and I are doing well. He is 21 now and he is almost done getting a degree. He only takes two classes online. As for me, so much has happened.

I turned 18, which is crazy. I graduated from high school - you would have been so proud! Grandma came to see me, and I am so happy she got to see me walk across the stage. Another thing: I am in college now! I go to a small college but it is in a big city. I am planning to become a lawyer, and I know that you would be so proud of me if I told you that.

I don't know if you heard Stacey when we were in the hospital, but she kept her promise to take care of Brian and I. I think you did hear her: you were able to let go knowing that we are in good hands. We are being taken care of. Dad and Stacey have been taking really good care of us and they have been so helpful this last year between you and grandpa passing away. I hope you and grandpa are spending a lot of time together up there.

I miss you. I leave flowers at your grave whenever I am in town, but I live two hours away now so I can only bring them every so often. I used to bring small tubes of glitter whenever I went there. I found them in your house while we were cleaning, and we were together when you bought them. I used to sprinkle the glitter over your grave so that it could sparkle just like you did when you were alive. I know that sounds cheesy but to me it was a good way to remember you. Also, I have a shadow box that has 5 small sections. I have the empty tubes that the glitter was in still and I put them in there.

This letter is getting off the main point, which I haven't even addressed yet...Thank you. Thank you teaching me that not everyone in your life is here to stay and sometimes that is for the best. Thank you for teaching me that family is not always blood, and that sometimes friends make the best family. You taught me that we are all put on this earth for a reason, and you need to work to seek what that is. You always showed me that showing compassion is the best way to show you care and that showing you love someone will show them that they really do matter. I know that you always held those values so close to you. I also know that I will hold those same values close to me.

I miss you more than you will ever understand. The day I lost you was the worst day of my life and I wish I could go back and change the outcome. I lost my mother and my best friend. You showed me that life is short and not to waste time on people and things that do not make me happy. I wish you were here to see all the progress I have made since you left. I promise you that I will not let you down. You are my motivation to keep going. I promise that anything I do in life I will do to make you proud. I know that no matter where I go I will make you proud, but I also know that if I reach my goals, you will be that much more proud of me.

One last thing, I am sorry for lying to you. The biggest lie I ever told you was that I hated you and my biggest fear will always be that you died thinking that. I am so sorry for ever saying that. I never hated you and never will. If I could take it back I would. I know that you know I never meant it, but the thought of you believing it at some point still huts more than anything.

I love you so much and I miss you.

Love always,


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Politics and Activism

4 Ways The Plan To Deport International Students Is Dumb, According To An Exchange Student

The whole policy isn't very stay-in-place, if you ask me.

Wikimedia Commons

On Monday, July 6, new federal guidelines were announced that do not allow international students to remain in the U.S. unless they are taking classes in person. Which, if you ask me, is stupid.

Keep Reading... Show less

Naya Rivera Is Missing, And She Deserves SO Much More Than Being Labeled 'Big Sean's' Ex'

We are all sending prayers to Naya Rivera hoping she finds them so we can find her.

I woke up this morning looking to find Naya Rivera's name trending No. 1 on Twitter. I was reading all of everyone's prayers wishing to find her so she can be reunited with her baby boy who is only 4 years old.

Naya's son's name is Lord and the entire collective is hoping the Lord is with him right now. I'm a firm believer in the Fear of God, I hope all of Naya's love is protecting Lord right now.

Keep Reading... Show less

With the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic still surging in the United States, where we are averaging 50,000 cases daily, wearing a face mask has become even more important. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease expert, has stressed the importance of wearing a mask and is pleading Americans to take notice of the "disturbing" rise in cases. It would be common sense to listen to him, considering we are dealing with a virus that has a mortality rate higher than what we have seen with other viruses.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's your fairy sex godmother back at it again and here to tell you that masturbating is an essential need, just like toilet paper.

It comes with so many benefits, besides cumming. According to the New York City Health Department, "you are your safest sex partner" during a pandemic, so why not use the best toys to get the job done? Shopping for the best fit can be tricky because there are a few factors to consider — whether it's the price point, experience, sound, and more.

Keep Reading... Show less

These 3 Smoothies Totally Cleared My Acne-Prone And Scarred Skin

How I drank my way to flawless skin.

With this summer being the first of its kind for most people to be in the midst of a global pandemic, almost everyone is beginning to have an overall focus on improving their health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone remembers the first time they went to one of the Disney parks. Spinning in teacups and having Goofy wrap his arms around my 8-year-old self were some of my fondest childhood memories, and I'm surely not alone in that.

Keep Reading... Show less

These Superfood Beauty Products Show Kale And Matcha Work For SO Much More Than We Thought

Just another summer's day with a cold glass of kombucha on my face.

I've been vegan for about six years now, so a love for fresh vegetables and superfoods has now become a core part of my being. Don't get me wrong. I love my indulgent, creamy pastas and truffle fries more than anyone. But I keep most of my focus on eating clean and healthy so I can indulge guilt-free.

But I'd say about a large part of my diet has always, unknowingly, included superfoods. Being Indian, lentils, beetroot, garlic, ginger, and whole grains have been core essentials on the family dinner table since I could digest solid foods.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments