I remember that day during the summer after my senior year of high school when I found out where I would be rooming and who my roommate would be. I got your name and proceeded to do the whole Facebook/ Instagram/ Twitter stalking thing. When I finally found you on Facebook, I took about an hour to figure out what to message you. I didn’t want to sound weird, but I wanted you to get a sense of my personality and how excited I was to meet you. I remember typing what I wanted to say and re-typing it when I thought of a better way to say it.
You never messaged me back. I didn’t think much of it at first; I figured you were just not a social media type of person or that you were focused on a summer job or something. Then, weeks later, I received an email. The Head of Housing told me you weren’t going to be attending McDaniel in the fall. I was surprisingly sad about this. I had made all these mental plans that we were supposed to do. We were going to be gym buddies and do yoga on the weekends and go on study dates at the library. You were going to be my college best friend. None of these things ever happened.
On the night of move-in day, when I was trying to sleep, I felt lonely. This wasn’t how I had imagined the start of my freshman year. I had no one to go to social events with. I had no one to walk with me through the academic buildings and figure out where my classes would be. I had no one to confide in and no one to confide in me.
It took a while, but I moved on. I made friends and I found my actual college best friend. We go to the gym together and we study together now. I figured out where my classes were and I joined a sorority without your help. I love having a room to myself. I learned how to live without you. I don’t fault you for not coming to McDaniel.
It’s the end of my freshman year, and I am happy with where I am. I am doing well academically, I am in a sorority, and I have a great group of friends whom I'm very thankful for. I wouldn’t change a thing if I could. Yet, I still can’t help but think of how different things would be if you were here.
I found my place. I found my people. I hope you did too, wherever you ended up.
In all of this self-revelation, I can’t help but think of where you ended up. Maybe you went to a different school, or maybe you decided to take a gap year to work. Maybe you were having family problems or you just decided that college wasn’t right for you. Whatever the reason, I hope you’re having the time of your life.
