I forgive you. I forgive you for twisting, bending, and breaking my words into making me out to be a monster. I forgive you for using me as bait in your deviant games that you played against others. I forgive you for turning my emotions, as well as my stomach, upside down whenever you felt the need to mix things up. I have forgiven you for all that you put me through, because it has made me realize how I should not be treated.
My self-worth was non-existent when you were controlling me. You forced me to believe that I was a burden to you and to others. There were times where you would build me up, and then within a second you would break me, making me feel inferior and worthless. You took my breath away by hitting me with harmful remarks and stabbing me with your screams about how stupid I was. You laughed at my innocence while ripping it out of my soul. My morals were turned into a haze. My conscience was yelling at me to stop it all, but my heart was telling me that this was how it was meant to be. The TV shows and movies were all just an act, and you had convinced me that what we had was how relationships happened in the real world. Cinderella story's did not exist, while I was formed to think I would always be the bottom of the household. I was shown to always bow down to you, but even when I did, it was never enough. I was never enough.
All those instances in which you would turn me against people in which I loved, they will never be forgotten. I had let you get to the point where you knew you were the boss of me. You knew that you could rip apart my relationships and I would still hold on. I was foolish, but I stood by you, because you were thought to be the only person on my side. My family and friends were out to get me, which is what you would tell me in between barking orders. The supporters that were once prominent in my life had turned into villains, and the only one who could save me was my prince charming, or the person whom I thought was my prince charming. Once the clouds cleared and I realized that you were the villain all along, those people that were important to me had vanished, and I came to the conclusion that I could not be saved, but little did I know, that I would build up strength and end this disastrous relationship.
The day in which I became free came with a heavy heart. I loved you with every piece of my heart, but I knew that the feeling was not mutual. Perhaps it was, but you did not execute the feeling of love quite like I did. You tried to pull me back in, and I have to admit, you said all the right things, and made me feel worthy for once, but I stood tall. I chose to take the words you spat with a grain of salt, which ended with me coming out on top. The feelings of confidence and self-pride overwhelmed me when I walked away. Tears poured down my face, but this time they were not tears of sadness, but tears of positiveness. All those months of manipulation finally uplifted from my shoulders, and I was able to see how much evil was in your blood. My mind was running full speed, but all I could think about was that I did it; I broke away from you.
Today, I am happy. Often, I look at myself in the mirror and cannot help but to smile, because I have never felt more beautiful. I can laugh when I want and do what I feel, without my shadow controlling me. Surrounding me are numerous friends and family that love me to no end, and they have shown me what it is like to have someone who genuinely cares. Thinking back on the past brings shivers down my spine, but it builds my motivation to keep going. This experience has showed me that my prior thoughts of being stuck were just a myth, and that things can improve if you want them to. I have discovered that happiness is a choice that should be a priority, and although you broke that, I will never let that mistake happen again. I appreciate you for teaching me how not to love, which then taught me how to express my love in new ways. I see the world in a whole new light, and I have no one to thank but you. The sun is brighter, the grass is greener, and I have meaning. You made me into the person I am today, and with that, I have one last thing to say: Thank you for manipulating me.
