I get it.

You have a big heart. You hate seeing others in pain. You're practically known as everyone's go-to person.

You say you enjoy it. Others need you and you're happy to be there. You may even refer to yourself as selfless.

Well, what if I told you that you're not helping as much as you think you are.

You see, a lot of us try so desperately to put others first that in turn, we ultimately forget take care of ourselves. We may say we're fine and don't mind being our own second choice, but the truth is, we're headed down a detrimental path.

Let me break this down for you.

Think about when you're around a genuinely happy person or even just in a positive environment. Good vibrations are literally radiating at the seams and it is nearly impossible to not be affected by them. Due to others' happiness, you tend to start to feel uplifted yourself.

Now, think about the opposite.

You head in to work and everyone is in a shit mood. You meet up with your friends and it turns in to gossip and 'who-has-it-worst.' Even if you entered the environment in a great place internally, you're destined to leave the situation a little lower than to begin with. It's just how our mind works.

So I'm sure you're asking: "Kim, what does this have to do with helping others?"

Thing is, if you spend all your time taking care of others, you have none left for yourself.

Having no time left for yourself does not lead to a positive life. You're never checking in to your emotions. You're ultimately avoiding yourself altogether. You're finding purpose through your good deeds and charity work. You're being 'unselfish.'

However, you aren't truly being unselfish.

The only way to become unselfish is to be selfish.

That may come across as a little counter-intuitive, but hear me out.

When you're selfish, you're taking care of yourself. You're getting in touch with who you are. You're doing what feels right for you in absolutely every moment. The ultimate source of your happiness comes from your inner peace and nothing else. You aren't attaching your happiness to anything other than how you feel about yourself.

By being selfish, you're destined to live a happy life.

You'll become a positive light in this world and be the person who lifts up negative environments. Mind you, without even trying.

When we're unselfish and put all our energy in to other people, we aren't offering them anything. We don't have anything to share. If we're not aligned internally, our help generally means nothing.

This may seem a little harsh, I get that, but I genuinely can not stand seeing people refuse to take care of themselves for the sake of others. Only when you help yourself can you be of service to those around you.

By emulating your authentic, taken-care-of self to the world, you're giving more than you ever could in your 'unselfish' days.

Immediately following this post, look deep within yourself. Where are you being unselfish in your life? Are you being selfish already, but maybe you feel guilty about it? Take these questions to your journal and write it out. Figure out what you're dealing with.

Once you have your emotions on the table, it is up to you what step to take next.

If you've been unselfish your entire life, start taking care of yourself right now. There's no moment like the present. Say 'no' more. Eat better. Move your body. Speak truthfully. Stop letting others control the quality of your life.

If you feel guilty about being selfish, understand that this is all societal conditioning. We're taught to care for others, but there's a lack of detail on what that truly means.

We're only told to put ourselves first after years of stretching ourselves thin rather than taking care of ourselves in the first place.

Please let this fucked-up mentality go.

You are important and only when you realize that can others learn from you. They have nothing to gain if you have nothing to give.

Change only occurs in the present moment, so start now. Write out the previous questions. Ask your intuition for guidance on where to lead you. The core of who you are is within. Look internally. Stop conforming to what you think is right, logic plays no part in this.

Truth lies in the heart. Go there, and please, don't you dare look back.