An Open Letter to Those Who Live Selflessly
Start writing a post
Student Life

An Open Letter to Those Who Live Selflessly

The reason giving your all to others may be hurting you in the long run and why being selfish is the only solution.

144
An Open Letter to Those Who Live Selflessly
pixabay

I get it.

You have a big heart. You hate seeing others in pain. You're practically known as everyone's go-to person.

You say you enjoy it. Others need you and you're happy to be there. You may even refer to yourself as selfless.

Well, what if I told you that you're not helping as much as you think you are.

You see, a lot of us try so desperately to put others first that in turn, we ultimately forget take care of ourselves. We may say we're fine and don't mind being our own second choice, but the truth is, we're headed down a detrimental path.

Let me break this down for you.

Think about when you're around a genuinely happy person or even just in a positive environment. Good vibrations are literally radiating at the seams and it is nearly impossible to not be affected by them. Due to others' happiness, you tend to start to feel uplifted yourself.

Now, think about the opposite.

You head in to work and everyone is in a shit mood. You meet up with your friends and it turns in to gossip and 'who-has-it-worst.' Even if you entered the environment in a great place internally, you're destined to leave the situation a little lower than to begin with. It's just how our mind works.

So I'm sure you're asking: "Kim, what does this have to do with helping others?"

Thing is, if you spend all your time taking care of others, you have none left for yourself.

Having no time left for yourself does not lead to a positive life. You're never checking in to your emotions. You're ultimately avoiding yourself altogether. You're finding purpose through your good deeds and charity work. You're being 'unselfish.'

However, you aren't truly being unselfish.


The only way to become unselfish is to be selfish.


That may come across as a little counter-intuitive, but hear me out.

When you're selfish, you're taking care of yourself. You're getting in touch with who you are. You're doing what feels right for you in absolutely every moment. The ultimate source of your happiness comes from your inner peace and nothing else. You aren't attaching your happiness to anything other than how you feel about yourself.

By being selfish, you're destined to live a happy life.

You'll become a positive light in this world and be the person who lifts up negative environments. Mind you, without even trying.

When we're unselfish and put all our energy in to other people, we aren't offering them anything. We don't have anything to share. If we're not aligned internally, our help generally means nothing.

This may seem a little harsh, I get that, but I genuinely can not stand seeing people refuse to take care of themselves for the sake of others. Only when you help yourself can you be of service to those around you.

By emulating your authentic, taken-care-of self to the world, you're giving more than you ever could in your 'unselfish' days.

Immediately following this post, look deep within yourself. Where are you being unselfish in your life? Are you being selfish already, but maybe you feel guilty about it? Take these questions to your journal and write it out. Figure out what you're dealing with.

Once you have your emotions on the table, it is up to you what step to take next.

If you've been unselfish your entire life, start taking care of yourself right now. There's no moment like the present. Say 'no' more. Eat better. Move your body. Speak truthfully. Stop letting others control the quality of your life.

If you feel guilty about being selfish, understand that this is all societal conditioning. We're taught to care for others, but there's a lack of detail on what that truly means.


We're only told to put ourselves first after years of stretching ourselves thin rather than taking care of ourselves in the first place.


Please let this fucked-up mentality go.

You are important and only when you realize that can others learn from you. They have nothing to gain if you have nothing to give.

Change only occurs in the present moment, so start now. Write out the previous questions. Ask your intuition for guidance on where to lead you. The core of who you are is within. Look internally. Stop conforming to what you think is right, logic plays no part in this.

Truth lies in the heart. Go there, and please, don't you dare look back.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58741
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37882
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959433
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

194890
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments