Dear Trevor,
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last acknowledged your presence. It feels like just yesterday that we were eating oranges outside of Mrs. Okumuras room during recess. The last time we spoke I told you I had met some other friends and that I’d be playing with them for a little while. I didn’t know that would be the last time we’d ever see each other. I sincerely apologize for the neglect and I hope this letter properly explains why my actions were necessary. I also hope this will heal any lasting wounds suffered by my abandonment.
The reality of the situation was the transition from 1st to 2nd grade was a big time for me. I was starting to pick out my own T-shirts. I made my own PB & J for the first time and I was placing my own order at restaurants instead of having mom speak up for me. Point being I found myself maturing at a pretty rapid pace and my personal evolution required an evolution of the people around me. That being said, the friends that I played with that day possessed a quality that you lacked…
Hands
I hate to put you on the spot like this, but playing catch with you was beyond frustrating. I felt like the dog and the human. Just playing fetch with myself over and over again. Not to mention whenever we’d play rock paper scissors on the bus, the other kids would laugh at me and call me a friendless loser. That hurt my feelings because they were wrong about me having no friends.
I had one friend, and it was you. You were always there to cheer me up when I tripped over myself during tag or when I struggled with long addition problems. Even though things ended badly between us, I just wanted to thank you because you've taught me so much during our years together.
Thank you for teaching me that a friendship is only as strong as the effort both sides are willing to put into it. I know I dropped the ball on this one, but I hope that if you’re reading this you’ll slide into my DMs so we can reunite or something.
Thank you for helping me realize an aspect that is quite crucial to being my friend: visibility.
I enjoy when the general public is able to actually see the people I’m hanging out with. Having strangers ask if I’m waiting for someone at lunch or why I’m wrapping my arm around nothing in photos was getting embarrassing. My greatest hope for this after life is that you’ll finally be seen by others because a painting as beautiful as your soul deserves the recognition.
Thank you for being whatever I needed you to be. Even when that thing I needed was your absence. In order for me to grow as a person I had to let you go. It wasn’t you. It was me so I hope you didn’t go around blaming yourself for the past 16 years. I needed to shake things up in my life in order to evolve. I had grown tired of our routines and wanted to interact with and meet new kids. Kids that played with different toys than I did. Kids who challenged me intellectually with Lion King trivia. Kids with different views on candy land. But ultimately-kids that would catch the balls I threw their way.
There’s no words that can describe how much you’ve done for me but I hope this letter is a good start. Wherever you are in your life I hope you found someone that can cherish you and commit to you the way you that deserve to be. Sorry for the pain but thanks for the memories.
Until we meet again,
Erick Diaz
