After years of seeing you everyday, sharing all the same gossip, and taking all the same classes, it was terrifying for us all to go off into different directions. Four best friends in the same state but separate schools in separate cities. For all I knew there may as well have been oceans between us. We were all going to be in our own distinct college bubbles with different friends, different problems, and different lives. This is what I was dreading for all the months leading up to graduation. Nothing would be the same.
When we first got to school, we called each other several times a day. Getting settled in was scary and affected us all differently, so being able to talk to each other was comforting. But as we settled in and started to get our footing, the phone calls became less frequent. Of course we were still talking basically on the daily, but we were already relying on each other a little bit less.
As we all joined clubs, got jobs, and piled on as many academic credits as we could, schedules got messier. Finding times when we were all available to Skype became about as tricky as passing Calculus.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a tad bit jealous when you started making new best friends in school. Of course I wanted you to thrive, and I knew you would, but in the back of my mind there was always a lingering fear that maybe we’d grow apart or maybe we’d find new people to confide in or maybe new best friends would replace the old ones.
And of course we still managed to argue even from hundreds of miles away. We’re all such different people, and we all had our own stresses, so of course we could get snarky and provocative. But at the end of the day, we were able to be snippy and angsty with each other because we were comfortable enough to release our own tensions. We didn’t have to worry about new friends not understanding or being turned off about the relationship. At this point we’d been through so much together we’d already seen everyone at their worst. With each other, we knew we’d always be there.
And we were. When I threw up during my first final, you guys were the first people I called and even though I ended up doing terribly on my exam, you guys were able to make me laugh. When high school boyfriends decided long distance wasn’t going to work, we moved mountains to visit each other and bring as much ice cream and libations as necessary. When we got a new internship or a promotion at work, we threw each other mini phone parties, and when we got rejected we reminded each other why the next position would be dying to take us. We supported each other and lifted each other up when we needed it.
And yes, we all made new best friends too, and though scary, that’s okay. When I came to visit you at school, all of your friends already knew me because you talked about me so often. And your friends were so cool. Obviously, to be friends with you these people had to be just as crazy, quirky, and passionate as you. We learned to share each other and be okay with expanding our own social circles.
And of course things changed, but if they didn’t we wouldn’t be growing. Growth doesn’t automatically mean we’d be growing apart. We’re all doing okay and we’ve each played pivotal roles in each other’s ability to succeed in what was once the scary unknown. It still scares me, and I know it scares you too. But at least we now know for absolute certain that we’ll be in each other’s lives as we continue into whatever lies ahead.
