I have heard it all before and, yep, I hear you. I totally one hundred percent hear you, boy. Sometimes relationships suck ... yet I hate when guys use that as an excuse to not have one. If you think telling girls "I just go with the flow" cuts it as an excuse or somehow justifies you not having a relationship, then all you're really doing is pushing a potentially amazing one away.

Honestly, just because relationships you've had in the past have failed, doesn't mean you give up on them altogether. Just because maybe you didn't do so hot in that football game, doesn't mean you threw in the towel and gave up football altogether, does it? Because if I had to bet, that just made you work that much harder the next time. So why have you given up?

Every girl is different, and so is every guy. That means that literally every relationship you have is going to be different in some way because no person thinks the same, feels the same, or reacts the same in different situations. In fact, with each relationship, I notice I feed off of a person differently than I have with others before that. This doesn't mean I am not being me, but I am subconsciously behaving based off of how you and I mix as human beings. That old time saying "having chemistry" definitely goes past the lab room.

We all usually learn this fact the hard way: a relationship that started out great but ended as bad as spoiled milk. Often some awful things are said, maybe even some bad things done, and you learn, well, obviously, this isn't working. At the end of the day, though, you realize you've done and said things you haven't meant or don't reflect who you are. A great relationship may have turned toxic but you can't pin that on the other person, yourself, or anyone else. It just means you two don't work well together and are not meant to be. So instead of wasting each other's time, move on.

But moving on and giving up are two completely different things. And here is usually where the "I just go with the flow" comes in. All this actually says is "I don't want to put the effort in." Yes I admit there is nothing wrong with this. Sometimes lives are too busy or stressful to even consider a relationship. Perhaps just going out and playing the freedom role is appropriate at times too. Let loose and have fun, because you are only young once. No one is accusing you or telling you that there is no excuse to not want a relationship. No it doesn't make you a bad person either.

Yet then again ... you do go on some dates. Dating is meant for getting to know people and seeing if there is potential to continue something there. It's fun and doesn't necessarily have to be serious; one date doesn't have to lead to another or need a label "relationship" but when you take a girl out, make your boundaries clear. What it comes down to is if you aren't ready for a relationship don't let others think you are -- and never ever make a girl think there is potential for you two if those are not your intentions.

But don't not have a relationship because you don't want to put the effort in based off of preconceived stereotypes or ones you created from past failed relationships because again, all relationships are different. No, not all relationships have to be clingy and no they shouldn't be dominating. I want you to be able to go out and have your guys nights and personal time just as I want to spend time with my friends. There is nothing wrong with being simply busy either. And no I don't need you to spend tons of money on me, like how many guys describe a relationship as expensive. A relationship is about the connection you have with another person, and if a date expects anything otherwise, then find someone else. Some woman or man is out there for you.

It makes me sad when a guy says he has given up on relationships because of one extremely bad one, or many failed ones. When they even say they like someone but they just aren't sure because they're afraid of history repeating itself or the idea of being tied down, it is even more upsetting. A relationship isn't marriage -- you don't hold any other responsibilities or promises to a person other than that you are getting to know them and seeing how you two work together. And history isn't going to repeat itself as long as you keep trying among the millions and millions of different people on this planet. If you like someone don't let a fear stand in that way or you will lose them and never know. Dating and relationships just mean "I'm going to give it a try."

To the guys who have given up ... maybe you aren't ready for another relationship, or perhaps it is just not the right time for you. Yet one day you will find someone worth all the hurt and confusion from past relationships. There is certainly going to be many failed ones before there is a right one. So if you like someone, take them on a second date when you're ready. Someone who makes you smile and feel good inside is definitely worth the try.