Ever since I can remember, I have always had this vision of a “normal boy.” I think of this boy as a tall, muscular, athletic, tough guy. He never cried, always got into fights, and followed a strict “guy code.” But who decided that this is how boys must be? Who decided what is “masculine” and what is “feminine?”

What men need to realize is that this so-called, “guy code” is hurting our generation of men, and I believe that they should strongly reconsider following these rules. Guys, who strictly follow the “guy code,” are turning themselves into emotionless creatures

In my english class, we read an essay written by Michael Kimmel called, “Bros Before Hos'":The Guy Code which talked about why men feel the need to follow this "guy code" and the effects it has on them. In his essay, Kimmel says, “’Be a sturdy oak.’ What makes a man is that he is reliable in a crisis. And what makes him so reliable in a crisis is not that he is able to respond fully and appropriately to the situation at hand, but rather that he resembles an inanimate object. A rock, a pillar, a species of tree."

This quote refers to one of the "guy codes" men must follow. It is basically telling men that they must act like inanimate objects who show absolutely no sign of emotion in any situation, whether it be good or bad. Men affiliate crying with weakness, so they never want to show any emotion.

Crying, however, does not mean a man is weak. It is a natural reaction that occurs as a result of many experiences throughout your life, whether these experiences are scary or sad. This reaction is completely normal for both men and women. Men should not worry about being this macho figure, who can’t cry, because in reality, everyone cries. When holding back tears or reacting inappropriately to certain situations, things like depression and other health issues could develop, which in the long run, can be very harmful.

With all this emotion built up inside, due to wanting to be perceived as “manly,” a lot of anger can build up alongside that as well. To a male, this is thought to be good because anger is associated with being masculine. Men end up having this "bad boy" ego and treat woman poorly, which I believe is because of all the built up emotion inside from not properly expressing their feelings. Men need to let these emotions out or else they are just going to hurt themselves.

I never realized just how much pressure boys are under. I also never realized how much of an affect society’s view of masculinity had on these men. They do have feelings and care about people, even though they are told to keep their emotions locked up inside, so that they do not come across as a “wuss” or “girly.”

All men need to stop following these rules. They need to realize they are not only hurting themselves, but they are also hurting the people around them. I cannot stress enough that crying is not a sign of weakness. If I were to see an eighteen-year-old boy getting a little teary-eyed, or maybe even crying a lot, saying goodbye to his parents as he left for college, I would think that it was a normal reaction. It is healthy to let loose and show emotion. It is not healthy to keep your emotions locked up inside waiting for them to explode.

So boys, let it all out. It's okay to cry and no one will think less of you for showing a little emotion. You will not be considered a "wuss" or a "sissy" or be perceived as weak. You will actually be considered human and no one will judge you for that.