I thought you were going to be different, but I guess that was my mistake. I hoped that we would be best friends who just happened to date each other, but I guess that was my mistake. I thought that this could work because you had told me you wanted it to. I guess my main issue was trusting you.
I trusted you and I shouldn't have. You made me feel like our history wasn't going to repeat itself, but then it basically did. You didn't choose me, but then after you broke up with her came running back to me. I thought we had a lot in common. We're both nerds. I said random facts about things I love and you didn't mind. In fact, I thought you liked that about me.
After we stopped talking that year I thought I wasn't good enough. Little did I know that we talk again the next year and you would make me feel special, but then you would crush my heart again.
Being stood up is no fun, but I held my head up and told myself you weren't worth crying over anyways. I let my friends tell me to ignore you when you tried to contact me again. I tried to ignore you but felt guilty when I didn't even do anything to you. I texted you back, but expressed how hurt and mad I was that I wasn't even worth a phone call or a text.
You said you didn't have your phone, but you didn't even try to contact me on your friend's phone or accounts. You came and apologized, but you really just gave me an excuse. You hurt me time after time, and I still forgave you. I opened up my heart to you again and again only for you to crush it, but I still forgave you. I couldn't move on, but I didn't blame you. I blame myself for getting too attached to the idea of who I thought you were.
I will always forgive you because I've always been taught to forgive and forget. I blame myself because I hate seeing other people upset, but can handle being upset myself. I want you to know that what you did was wrong. You can't stand a girl up when you made plans for a date without contacting her. I want you to know that messing with my head and telling me you want to date when you had a girlfriend and then telling me you actually want to stay with your girlfriend isn't okay. I want you to know that making me your second choice isn't okay.
I want you to know that I deserve better than being a second choice. I want you to know that I will find someone who will ALWAYS put me first and treat me the way I deserve. I want you to know that I forgive you for treating me like I was nothing to you. I want you to know that I am always here for you if you need someone to talk to because I believe in being the bigger person. I want you to know that I will always remember the way you treated me, but would never do that to you.
I want you to know that you really don't deserve my forgiveness, but I'm giving it to you anyways and I wish you nothing but the best.
