My Guardian Angels,

Not a day goes by that I do not miss you. I must say, I consider myself beyond blessed that I got to spend almost 23 years with both of you. Ba and Dada, my life completely changed when you both left me here on earth.

I hope I showed you enough how much you both meant to me, and I hope I made your lives a little brighter, because you both were the light of my life, and when you both left, my life got a little darker.

You left four months apart, and it was the biggest heartbreak I ever felt. You both left in similar ways; it almost felt like deja vu the second time around, but I knew things were going to be different.

I remember trying to imagine what life would be like without you, but I never could. When I said bye for the last time, it felt like a piece of my heart was taken from me. It hurt. I cried. I cried more than I ever have in my life. I didn't know how my life would be without you. How would our house be called a home without you two? How would I come home from college and not see your excited smiling faces waiting for me? I still do not know the answers to those questions.

Sometimes, I see or hear things that remind me of you and I break down crying out of nowhere. I see pictures of others with their grandparents, and I can't help but wonder if they realize how lucky they are to still have their grandparents in their life.

I know everything happens for a reason, and you both are together now; I should be happy you are back in God's arms, but I still can't help but selfishly want you back here in mine. Sometimes I regret going so far away in college. I know you missed me when I was gone, I missed you. I know I wasn't always there when you needed something. I missed out on a lot chances to bring you water or bring your laundry up the long staircase to your room. I missed out on a million knocks on my door to wake me up in the morning. I missed out on the chance to see your smiles everyday that I was away. I missed the opportunity to make more memories. I missed birthdays. I missed being able to run down the hall and sleep between your beds when I got scared. But, I know you both know I was away to make a career, and I know you both know I will make a great nurse one day. After all, I am doing this for you. I wish I could've done it sooner so I could've been your personal nurse the way you always joked about it.

I cherish the time we spent together more than you both will even know. You both were the most important people in my life, and you will always have a big space in my heart. I know I am fortunate for all the time and memories we made together, but sometimes, I get really sad. Neither of you will be there to see me graduate and become a nurse this year. You both were my biggest supporters and motivators in pursing my dream of becoming a nurse. Neither of you will see me walk down the aisle when I get married. Neither of you will hold my kids and love them more than you ever loved me, and it really, really hurts to know that.

When I get sad, mad or happy, I want you. I want to be laying on your laps or sitting next to you, but I know that is just not possible anymore. Sometimes I cry and miss you so much that with every tear and gasp for air that I take, I say your names because I just want you to be there in that moment with me so badly.

I don't think there will ever be a day that I stop missing you, but I do know that everyday that passes, you both still encourage me and push me to be better than yesterday. You both still help me make the best decisions and be the best I can be so I know a part of you will always stay with me. You both molded me into who I am through your thoughts and things you taught me, so I know a part of me is a part of you.

I hope you both are happy in God's home. I hope you both are happy together. I know you both are watching over me; I know you guys have helped me get through my toughest days from up there, and you have helped send some of the best days my way. You both may have left me, but you did not leave me empty handed. You gave me the best gift a granddaughter could ask for: your blessing to be happy, have a lifetime of memories and the strength to fight through the tough times. I pray everyday that I am blessed to have you both as my grandparents in my next life and every life thereafter.

I love you, Ba and Dada.

With love,

Your Dearest Granddaughter