We've all been waiting for senior year.

It's one of the most anticipated grades of your high school career. It's the year where you get so many privileges that other students don't have, the younger kids look up to you, and the year where you "don't" do anything (which is completely wrong, because you have tons to do).

Yes, it's true, senior year is pretty awesome. You get a lot of the perks you've been waiting for your whole life, but I hate it.

Well, I don't actually hate it, I love it in every way possible, which makes me hate it.

Every moment I experience is ruined with the thought of, "what happens next?" That's what I'm always thinking about. I'm one step ahead of what is actually in front of me.

To think that in fall 2017 I won't be walking around these same hallways and looking into these same classrooms that I've looked in for 6 years is crazy.

I wish that things could slow down or potentially move backwards, but that's not the case. It’s here in front of me, and I have to live with it.

I love my senior class. I've been with most of them since kindergarten, and I don't want to leave them.

They are my rock, my family.

I also love all my teachers, who have supported me and encouraged me non-stop throughout the years to be the greatest I can possibly be.

As I watch everyone get their acceptance letters, it doesn't make me happy. Of course, I'm so proud of them for getting into their top pick colleges and finally starting to achieve their dream, but I don't want them to go.

I want to stay with these people forever. I've made such great bonds and amazing memories with these people that will last a lifetime, I can't leave that. If I could go back in time to kindergarten and live everything all over again, I would.

Although it just started, I have experienced so many unbelievable events throughout my senior year.

I love spending time with everyone and making every moment count this year. But I can't shake the thought of it all being gone by June.

Leaving my childhood friends, my teachers, and all my achievements that I have accomplished in high school is daunting. To think that next year I will be that freshman in college who gets lost around campus because it's so new to me is equally as daunting.

It's a reoccurring event in my head, that stops me from living in the moment and being there.

The only thing I do is live in the future and think about the next step.

I'm not trying to scare anyone into thinking that senior year isn't amazing. (It's more than amazing, it's spectacular.)

What I'm trying to say is live in the moment, live that year to the fullest. Cherish every friendship, laughter, and experience to its very last bit. Don't wish away the year or wish it to stay, be happy you made it this far and are having a blast.

Do your best, work your hardest, and most of all have fun. Don’t worry about the future, live in the now. "In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take." So take every chance you get and make the most of it, because you can only move forward from here, not back.

Xoxo,

The girl who hates senior year