Dear depression,

You walked in to my life about a year ago. Ever since then, I’ve hated you with a huge passion. You made me feel like I was worth nothing. And on some days, you still do. You made me stop loving the sport that has been my life for as long as I can remember. But I will fight you on this. I will not let you take soccer away from me. With every setback, you made me believe that I’ve made no progress in getting better. But I know that’s a lie, because looking back on the past few months I’m a lot stronger than I was and I can fight you even on days when I don’t feel like I can.

You made me want to push away my friends because I hate bothering them with my problems when it was same thing every single time. You made me want to give up and not be alive anymore, but you know what - I have a great life and I’m trying my best to not let you ruin that. I deserve to be happy and even though most days you tell me I don’t, I know I do. There’s this thing you like to do. You leave my life for a few days or weeks then you come back and hit me harder in the face then you did before.

You make me hate going to classes I should enjoy, you make me think that college isn’t for me. You make me think that I’m a bother to everyone around me. But I guess that’s what you do, you want me to stay all sad and depressed. If I don’t, you don’t know how to live. You feed off all of my insecurities and make me feel like I’m nothing in this world.

Here a thing for you, I’m done letting you take control of my life and my happiness. I’m taking control now. This is my life and I don’t want you to be a part of it anymore. You don’t get to tell me not to get out of bed because is too hard to. You don’t get to tell me I’m not good enough. You don’t get to take control of my life anymore I’m done with your games.

Please leave.

Sincerely,

The girl who hates being sad all the time