To every person who has ever asked me, or ever will ask me, what I want for my birthday/Christmas,
I am not trying to be modest or blow you off when I say, “I don't need anything,” or, “I just want your love/friendship”. It's not that I think you're going to get me a bad gift or that I’m trying my hardest to be “difficult”. I really am overwhelmingly flattered and sincerely do appreciate both the gesture and the thought, but I genuinely just do not enjoy receiving gifts, especially large gifts.
To put it simply, and in the terms of author Gary D. Chapman, receiving gifts are not my "love language". I will give them all day long and even go above and beyond for those that are very close to me, but receiving gifts are an entirely different story. When someone gives me a gift, I have no idea how to act after the obligatory, “Thank you SO much!” It really, and truly, is an anxiety field day. Do I open it right there? What happens if I don't like it? What happens if I DO like it? Do they want to keep the wrapping paper? Do I want to keep the wrapping paper? There are just too many questions and not nearly enough time to answer them during the 30 seconds it takes to unwrap a gift. Oh, and don't even get me started on if I don't get someone a gift but they give me one. That's what nightmares are made of.
Furthermore, I like buying things for myself; I enjoy earning the items that I have and the services that I enjoy. If I'm given something I feel haven't earned, I become very uncomfortable and even guilty because I just don't consider myself deserving of it. This applies to more than just gifts - this even applies to a friend or family member paying for my meal at a restaurant.
This isn't to say that I will not accept your gift if you give it to me. That's ridiculously rude and not who I am at all. I sincerely do appreciate that you are sharing your love language with me. I just ask that you understand my side as the receiver and the things that go through my mind. I don't need expensive gifts to know that you love me. I'd be overjoyed if all you got me was a handmade card and a pair of socks.
Thanks for understanding, and Happy Holidays!
