Hey there friends,
It's been a very long time since I've seen your faces, heard the sounds of your voices, or even received one of your hugs. It's funny, because I never realized just how much those things were essential to my happiness until I was forced to go without them for so long.
The past couple of months have shown me countless cities, countries and extraordinary pieces of the world that I once thought to be unreachable. Every week is a new adventure with newfound friends along the way who teach me more about life from multiple perspectives than I could ever hope to learn. More strangely, they even teach me more about myself than I ever thought was possible to discover. However, perhaps the most important thing they have shown me so far is that they are not you, and never will be. Because it seems that no matter where I go and what I do, nothing and no one compares to you in the slightest way. Although the amazing things I've seen and accomplished here are nothing short of miracles, it turns out that the countless faces, cities and wonders that I've traveled among are nothing but a blur in the face of one simple fact: I miss you.
No matter how many destinations I mark on the map or items I cross off my bucket list, the satisfaction it all brings is short-lived when I realize that you are not there to share them with me. Of course, I'm proud of it anyway. After all, studying abroad is something that each person has to for themselves, as well as for the challenge and adventure it presents. It's meant to push you outside your comfort zone, and believe me when I say that I have been pushed well beyond mine.
But that doesn't change how much I miss you and how many times a day I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. Being separated from you by oceans and continents makes me feel like a critical piece of who I am is missing. I'm glad that being on my own is showing me how to define myself without the help of others, but at the same time, I'm still not whole. Every day involves a little bit of torture in the form of constantly having to remind myself that I can't simply walk with you to class, make a fool of myself at '90s Night just for your benefit, invade your room to catch up at the end of the day (and to steal your clothes), crawl into your bed with the problems that only you have answers to, and binge on anything—whether it be pizza, wine or "Friends" re-runs.
Of course, there is one simple benefit to the loneliness: I finally appreciate each and every one of you to the extent that you've always deserved. And beyond that, once I get home I plan on never taking any of you for granted again. But until that moment comes, believe me when I say that you are the best soulmates and soul-sisters anyone could ask for. I love you all more than words could ever express, so I'll simply leave it at that. All along, it turns out that home has always been wherever you are, and I can't wait to once again be wherever that may be. I'll see you all soon enough with the biggest hugs and gifts that I can possibly fit in my carry-on.
Thinking of you in all of my endeavors,
Samantha
