To the people who feel I abandoned them, I'm so sorry. Leaving for school was one of the hardest things I could have ever done in the short time I have been alive, because I had to leave all that was comfortable, familiar, and home, to go and create a new life for myself in some new, far away place. I miss you so much. I hope you can see that in the way that I want you to be a part of my new life. In the way that I want to tell you stories of my college adventures in hopes that you will see that all I want is for you all to be there experiencing it with me.
Moving away was so hard, maybe not at first, but after the first trip back it became clear how hard it would be to leave time and time again, because I knew that in order for me to be happy in this new place, I would need to leave behind the familiarity and family of my friend group back home, even if it was just for a few weeks or months. Please know that this is hard for me too. Not seeing the people I have spent the last couple years of my life seeing every day is challenging, and I am working on not missing you all so much, but that doesn't mean it works one hundred percent of the time.
I just want to set the record straight on something. Just because I moved away, does not mean I moved on from our friendship. I still talk about you to my new friends in school; I still laugh at all of our not funny-funny jokes. I still consider you my closest friends, just because I have new friends does not change that. So please, do not condemn me for not wanting to spend the months we are apart just missing you and hating where I am. I understand your anger, I can see you're upset, but I don't see how I can help you move past this if you will not talk to me about it. I want to talk it out, I want you to tell me that you miss me and you feel replaced, so that I can assure you that this is not the case, and here's the crucial part, I need you to believe me!
I need you to trust that I didn't throw away our friendship just because I made new friends. I need you to believe me when I say you are my best friend it is just that we are in different places, maybe on different paths, that doesn't mean that we can't still be friends and still enjoy each other's existences. I need to know that when I do come home, we won't argue, we will tell each other stories and eat at our favorite restaurant, or get coffee at our spot, and just continue to be friends even though we are in new places.
I'm sure you are making new friends as well, or perhaps you are creating friendships with people we both knew prior to leaving for college. Tell me about them! I want to be a part of your life as much I want you to be a part of mine, but if you cannot move past this feeling of abandonment because I am moving along my life's path, and not our friendship, then soon, our friendship will become a fond memory, I fear.
I hope this isn't the case, and I hope we can work this out because I do miss you so much. I want you to be in my future as you were in my past, and I hope you want that too.
