I miss you so much. You can't imagine how many days pass by that I find myself thinking of you. I always thought of you like the brother I wished to have, and that's why I spent so much of my childhood with you. I spent the first 14 years of my life with you and I would never want anything to happen to you. When you left for California, I cried for months. It was like part of my family was being taken away from me. My heart was shattered for a moment. But I know I will be forever in your heart. I can tell just by the way we act when we meet again; it's like time hasn't changed and we talk to each other like we always have.
You taught me so much and it may sound strange, but I look up to you. To me, you're my superstar. You're the light that forever shines and reflects into my eyes. When I'm struggling with my work, you support me like nobody else can. I couldn't repay you for all the things that you have done for me, but I know we will always be there for each other. It's just how we are.
I'll always remember the times at the little summer house. Remember we would chase each other through this beautiful abandoned house and just look at the sunset? We were just there, together. And remember that time when we climbed that huge mountain to have a picnic? Those long swims in the lake and taking adventures on the island? Making all of those stop motion videos with you? Laughing and joking with each other? I never wanted to leave your side. I wish we could go back to being so young and stuck in the moment with endless dreams. I miss the times we spent together and I miss the fact that you're still so far from me.
You saved me from so much. I don't even have to go into detail about that- you already know. But when I think of my childhood, I think of you and your warm curly brown hair, angelic eyes and freckles. I was so glad to have someone in my life to share my every thought to and all of my interests. I never felt like an outcast when I was around you, like I had felt in my early years of school.
Since you're so far away, I regret to say that I have been looking for a replacement for you. I've been looking for somebody to tell everything to. I think that's part of the reason I looked towards someone I liked. But nobody in this world can ever replace you. I know that because there's nobody who is as gentle as you. Ultimately, there's no guy like you out there anywhere.
I always wish the best for you, my little brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do to support you and guide you. Every passing day there's always something missing and that's you, my best friend in the whole wide world. I constantly remember the day that you left and how I cried probably the most I have in my entire life. I was too buried in your arms to even notice if you were crying until we let go. I even had a little journal and I would write to you how I was feeling everyday. I just never had enough courage to to send it. The point is, I know you are doing great things. You're so smart, so don't doubt yourself; push yourself to be the best because I know you can. I promise to talk to you more often- I don't want you to forget about me that easily. Just thinking about you makes me smile.
I wouldn't trade the time we had together for the world. Arrivederci.
