I always use to hear, “there are two types of girls in this world, one who determines her worth by the man she is with and the other who determines her worth by her own accomplishments. Growing up and being around plenty of girls, I have found this statement to have some truth to it. Coming to college, I observed this statement to be true firsthand--from my experience, college boys are not the prince charmings I expected. We had come to college believing college boys were more mature and that we would find “the one”. Unless you’re lucky, after a few weeks into your first semester you find this statement to be entirely false. I could probably prove statistically that there are more boys who sleep with several girls with no intentions of furthering the relationship than boys who actually have a relationship. There are also probably many boys who, even in current relationships, had gone through a stage of sleeping around with no intentions of furthering the relationship. Many of them spewing lies from their perfect jawlines in order to get girls to take off their pants. This gives many girls, specifically freshman, a false hope they have may have found their prince charming of college.
To the girl lost in a sea of men and insecurities, I wish I could show you that there is a whole world right out in front of you. There is more to life than a boy who plays football and is willing to tell you that you are more than a “5 out of 10” if you give him something in return. When he says he’s “just tryna chill” late night but hasn’t even made an effort to talk to you all week, don’t go to his room. There is so much more to life than sneaking out of his room late at night after he told you not to tell anyone. You’re young and instead of loving yourself, you are sitting on your bed thinking of reasons of why he hasn’t texted you back. You make up excuses for him and you blame yourself. You sneak into his room hoping, this time, it will be different, that maybe, this time, he will actually like you. Your heart breaks each time you offer him your body and mind and he only wants one of those parts--the part that doesn't hold all of your thoughts, dreams, and memories. Your body count adds up but it isn’t about the bodies to you--it’s about the chances you get to fall in love. Darling your chances are at zero because you’re kissing boys who are kissing you back with intentions that last no longer than that night. Each time you think it will be different and each time you are wrong. They each take a piece of you when they leave and eventually there is going to be nothing left of you.
To the girl lost in a sea of men and insecurities, I wish I could show you what you are missing. To love yourself is a feeling I cannot even explain. But don’t feel down on yourself because you haven’t discovered that love for yourself yet. There isn’t a map or a GPS to guide you to where it is, one day you will find it and know. But you need to stop letting these boys use your body like that's all it is, a body to use. It sounds cheesy when all of our mothers and grandmothers tell us, “your body is a temple”, but they couldn’t be any more right. Our bodies are temples. You’re a beautiful human being with a big mind and an even bigger heart. You deserve someone who appreciates the simple things, the sound of your laughter, the same of your hair, and all of your ups and downs. But your happiness does not need to rely on him. Because people change and leave like seasons and your happiness needs to come from yourself so when the season changes your world does not come crashing down. You need to build up your walls from all of the monsters who are trying to come in and stay for the night. Stay away from the boy who doesn’t want his friends to know you were just in his bed. However, do not hide from them all because there are some good ones and I can attest to that. There are good boys in this world that will carry you around when you are drunk with no intention of removing your clothes later in the night. There are boys who will gladly hold your hand in public and will be there the next day and the day after that. Those boys will appreciate your body as well as your colorful mind. To my the girl lost in a sea of men and insecurities, you will find a boy to love, but you need to love yourself first.
