I'm going to say hi to you all, because I know some of you will see this. Please keep reading.

When we first met each other it all seemed too perfect. We all meshed together perfectly. It was almost like we were the next cast of a tacky Disney Channel show. We couldn't do anything without making each other laugh or smile. Everything became an inside joke and fond memory. Our squad was everything a squad was supposed to be. Supportive, loving, considerate, happy, funny...the list went on.

Almost overnight, though, everything about what we all thought was so sturdy, fell apart.

The texts to the group chats about meals or nights out would miss just one person. Not because they didn't check the chat, but because somebody had decided to not include them in a new group. Each of us began to pick favorites within the group. The same group that at one point had been filled with nothing but favorite people. It wasn't long before rooms would fall quiet when somebody showed up after class or work, and eventually, there were no more impromptu hangouts. Everything quickly became planned and forced. The fun we used to have was no longer had.

It was like walking on eggshells.

At first, I thought I had done something. I raked my memories for anything that I might have said or didn't say. I sat up at night wondering if I had forgotten someone's birthday, or if I had stood the group up for dinner one night. Nothing came to mind. It got to a point that I was asking my family and other friends if they could think of anything I had done.

Nobody could think of anything.

That's when I started to wonder if I was just making everything up. Was I really not being included in conversations? Or was I just choosing not to add my thoughts to the chit chat? Maybe I had known about the dinners and lunches and nights out that I missed, but I'd just forgotten to go. I started to make excuses for things that I wasn't doing. I didn't know that the exclusion had become a pattern for everyone but a few select people in the group.

Every day I would wake up hoping that it would all go back to normal. That we would all go back to talking about music, doing face masks and playing with Snapchat filters. But it never came. Instead, we spent less time together. My spot in the backseat of the car quickly became the property of a new member. The spots in each other's rooms that we had claimed as our own started to collect dust as we all branched out from the original squad.

The more time we spent apart, the less it hurt. The less it hurt, the more I began to see that I hadn't done anything. I'd been myself, and that wasn't enough for the group. Or it was too much. Even though we could never have known our squad was destined for disaster.

Too many personalities were too similar. Too many people wanted to be in charge of making plans because they were tired of doing things they didn't enjoy. Some of us would get close to each other while the rest of the group would decide that they couldn't stand those people anymore. What used to be one group eventually began to separate into numerous individuals who happened to know each other or be friends with one or two people.

Suddenly, it didn't seem like the next year was going to be so fun. Instead, it started to look like the next year was going to be torture. Did I want to spend another school year never watching the movies I liked or eating out at a restaurant I actually enjoyed? Could I tolerate another year of being "accidentally" forgotten about when plans were made? No. More importantly, I didn't deserve that.

That's when I went for the highway, instead of the squad-way. I couldn't imagine spending any more of my life not having the chance to show my "friends" my favorite movie or talk about my favorite music. It didn't seem like many other's in the group cared at first. Then I saw the remaining members of the group fit comfortably in a booth one day, with room to spare. That's when I knew that I wasn't alone in my feelings. And that was completely okay.

Sometimes people aren't meant to last the long haul together. They're just stepping stones to the people who will be around forever. That doesn't make anyone involved any less valuable, and it also doesn't make any person any more valuable. It just means that it wasn't meant to be that way, but that it was supposed to play out another way. It took me meeting new people, finding new interests and stepping out of my comfort zone countless times to figure that out and come to terms with it.

The point is that everyone seems to think I have all these horrible feelings for all of you. That I will never let go of the friendships that are no more. The reality is that I'm happy. I'm happy for you, and all the things you each achieve. Not because I want to come off as fake or interested in rekindling the group, but because at one point you were all exceptionally important to me. At one point, we shared our hardest days and brightest nights with each other. I'm proud of the memories that we made together, and I can fearlessly embrace the twinge of nostalgia that comes whenever I see our countless selfies. Most importantly, I'm proud and happy for myself that I was able to find the right path, place and people for me.

Maybe today we won't say hello to each other, and maybe we never will again. But someday we will all look back on the late nights and long days that we had together, and for a short second, fondly remember the laughs, smiles, tears and eye-rolls we shared. I'm okay with this, and I hope you are, too.