Dear Spanish Language and Literature,
Out of all the breakups I’ve ever gone through – and let’s be real, some goodbyes are way easier than others – this may be the most difficult departure of my life. I know we’ve spent years together, but more and more lately I’ve been picturing my life without you, and liking the way my future looks just a little bit more.
In no way does this take away from everything we’ve shared together. I mean, at three years old I encountered you, Spanish, for the first time while watching Dora The Explorer on television. It was love at first listen; I always had a knack for remembering vocabulary and my pronunciation wasn’t half bad for a toddler. Dora quickly became one of my favorite shows, and sparked a love affair that would last for almost two decades, which is saying a lot for someone with commitment issues.
In the fourth grade we took the next step; taking a Spanish class where I learned how to say simple phrases and conjugate verbs really brought us to the next level. It was when I received my first 100 on a test when I spoke my true feelings aloud to my mom that evening: “I love Spanish!”
Fast forward to more classes, until we reached my senior year of high school together. I had decided to take a leap of faith and invite you to move into my life with AP Spanish Language and Culture. We spent hours together after classes listening to music, watching telenovelas and adding Spanish subtitles to all of our favorite Netflix shows. You began to consume my life, and take up a great deal of time, but I was passionate and young and in love and wouldn’t have had it any other way.
When I got to college, I dreamed of taking over the world with you by my side. Surely, if we were together, nothing could stop me from achieving my goals and landing the job of my dreams: to be the first female mayor of New York City. Even after I dropped political science as my primary major by the end of the first semester and rerouted my destination- clinical psychology- I still knew we could make it work even though times were tough.
By sophomore year, however, we just began spending too much time together. No longer was I oh-so-enthusiastic to go home and do four hours worth of reading literature from the 20th century. I could speak your language, sure, but I didn’t feel the same about studying you anymore. I began to get anxious around you and always felt like I wasn’t good enough.
I’m writing this letter to tell you after spending almost the entirety of my life studying you and your perfection, I’m done. I can’t see a future with you anymore. I know it gets thrown around a lot, but it really isn’t you, it’s me. I’m not the girl I was when we first met, I’m a young woman who knows what she wants out of life and it’s not to spend eight hours a week studying Spanish linguistics. I just can’t give you the level of commitment you need from me, and for that I am truly sorry. I still love you, but I know I’m better off without you taking up so much time from me, especially when I can’t give you my all.
I have to thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the years. You’ve exposed me to new things that I wouldn’t have tried before, and given me invaluable skills that will last a lifetime. Our love affair has been one for the books, but it’s time to wrap up this volume. We’re bound to run into each other often, so maybe we can still be friends.
Sincerely,
Hayley Rein
Former Spanish Language and Literature Major
