Not long ago, I wrote an open letter to my Grandma about how much she has truly impacted my life and I meant every single word of it. It's funny, as much as I hate getting older, I could never hate the insight it has given me on the people who have been there for my small and big moments. I wish I wasn't writing this, with tears in my eyes typing this. Letting my fingers fly across the keys of my laptop, letting the feelings trickle out. So here it goes:
To My Person Battling Cancer,
First things first, I love you in the most unconditional way possible. My life simply would not be the same without you in it. I am so glad that I get to be a part of your life. Life may seem hard right now, you may be struggling with the news just as I am, so here are a few things to remember.
On your weakest days:
You are the strongest. Look at the life behind you, look towards the life ahead of you. You've been such a big part of the lives of the people around you. You've been a friend, a sibling, a parent, a grandparent...you've simply been everything that makes you, you. You've climbed over obstacles, glided through the good times, made it out of the bad. You are stronger than you know, stronger than any of us could have ever known until now.
When you want to cry:
When you want to cry, I will be your shoulder. If you want to talk, I will be your ear. If you want to pretend that this is not the reality, I am here to help you forget for as long as I possibly can. I am not here to remind you of the things you might miss, the things you may not get to see happen. I am here to remind you, that the person standing in front of you, would not be the same without you.
When you want to laugh:
I will tell you the worst jokes you've ever had and maybe you'll laugh because we all know that I could never be a comedian. We will talk about all the silly things I did as a kid, the things that don't seem to make sense now. We will travel back in time together. You can tell me all the crazy things you did when you were younger, and I'll soak it in.
When you want to give up:
I have no doubt in my mind that this is going to be hard. That this doesn't make sense, that you may be scared, that you may want to give up. And if you want to, I will be your hand to hold, regardless of the choices you make. I will love you long after you're gone but no less than I do right this minute. I will not think less of you, remember that you are the strongest person I know and I have been truly blessed to have you in my life and by my side, through the good and the bad.
This does not define you. Cancer does not become who you are. You are still the same you that you have always been and I could not be more grateful to know you and to know that you will get through this, regardless of the difficulty. I love you. Now, always, forever.