Dear Dad,

I am going to be blunt with you. I never understood what the importance of a "father-figure" was. I still don't. Mom was my dad. Quite frankly, Mom was everything that you weren't. That's okay though, I turned out alright.

Grandma brought me to visit you in the various places that you were and every encounter, conversation and, embrace was forced. Some people would expect me to hold anger toward you which would cause me to remain distant but, I have never been upset. You were simply a stranger who held the title of "father" but not the meaning behind it.

As I grew up, I learned why you weren't there and still, I held no anger at all. My brother bullied me because you were never around and his dad was. My friends (who I realize now were not good friends) convinced me to open up to them and when they found out that you were so in-and-out, they hurt me as well. And still, I have never been upset because you were absent, I have never felt that you've abandoned me.

You have never been to one of my many awards days, marching band performances, or club inductions. Most people were surprised to see that you made it to my High School Graduation. But, I wasn't because if there is anything that I have learned about you is that you are a man of your word. And I suppose that's where I get my resilience from.

Our relationship in the time that I have gotten to know you has been rocky. Verbal fights that you put up with your mother, brother, and I are nothing to ignore but, I forgive you for those because I know that your mind is here and there due to the drugs and violence that you have been a part of. We have had some decent conversations, I know what led you to act the way you do and you know that you've hurt me. I am proud to say that you are my dad.

But, you are not my father ( biologically yes, figuratively no) I am my own father, I had to grow up quickly, mentally I raised myself for most of my life and when I turned fourteen literally I raised myself. Your mother took me in and acted as my guardian but, it has been nearly 30 years since she raised a child and not to seem rude but she dealt with you.

I don't like the choices that you made, I don't agree with how you "cope". I don't think that "just one more high" is the way to present your self to your daughter but, I forgive you.

Love,

Your biggest accomplishment