Dear Mom, Dad and Step Parents,

It’s been 15 years since y’all were a team when it came to parenting me, the hot mess express. I’m nearly 20, and in my opinion, the two of you have done an incredible job raising me, even though it wasn’t exactly a team effort. While I praise you for raising a God-loving, well rounded and overall awesome daughter, there are some things that aren’t quite so appreciated.

Before I really get going, we need to settle one thing. I am a drama queen. That is no secret. So when you read this, if you read this, remember that as you enter the depths that are my brain. Let’s start when I was just a little girl, fresh into the public school system. As most everyone knows, elementary school children don’t go out on Friday nights and hangout with their friends. This happens for two reasons: they can’t drive and parents are a bit overprotective of their small kids. This was the same for me except for one small detail. Every other weekend I actually did get to go out on Friday night. But not because I was with friends. I had to travel three plus hours to visit my dad. While other kids my age were in their backyards on their swing sets, I was in the car trying not to be bored to death because, let’s be honest, car rides suck.

Skip ahead to sixth grade. I was a new student at Oakdale Middle School, home of the patriots. Now I know I made a big deal about having to go every other weekend to my dad's house when I was in elementary school, but in middle school, it actually was a big deal. The friends that I had come to know in elementary school were older and so was I. We were 12, 13 and 14 years old during our years rooting on the patriots. That’s just the beginning of teen years. My friends and I always thought we were so cool because we were 13. They got their parents to drop them off at fun places on Fridays and Saturdays and they had a blast. Meanwhile, I’m in the car traveling once again three plus house to visit my dad for the weekend. Having to be gone every other weekend away from my friends was awful. I felt so left out. I felt like I was an outcast. Reading this, you may be thinking, what's the big deal? She's just a kid. In reality, I missed so much because of the time I spent in central Arkansas at my dad's house.

Now let’s go to ninth grade. All of my friends and I were "fresh meat" at Rogers Heritage High School. (Go War Eagles!) Throughout my last year at Oakdale, my teachers and family members told me that high school was going to be the best four years of my life. Well, they were partially right. Dances, football games on cold autumn nights and just being dumb high school kids was fun. The homework, the rude teachers and you guessed it, the drive to visit my dad’s house was not what I would call fun. I know that as I got older, got my first car and started dating, I stopped going on my scheduled weekends to visit my dad. I got busy. I got a job that took up a lot of my time. I decided that I wasn’t going to miss out on anything because I knew I would regret it. I chose to stay at my mom's house so that I could be what some would call a normal high school student.

But now, at nearly 20 years old, I look back on all the weekends that I spent at my dad’s house. I have friends that always asked if traveling was worth it. And I say the same thing every time. It was. I love spending time with my dad. I loved learning things from him that I would have never learned from my mom. Now that I’m an adult, I realize that I shouldn’t have stopped visiting once I got to high school. I was being selfish. I wasn’t taking into consideration the feelings of my dad and I’m sorry for all the feelings that I hurt and put on the back burner. I really do love the two of you equally. I know sometimes it may seem like I favor one over the other, but what kid doesn't do that even if their parents are together? But enough about that. To my stepmom and stepdad, I just want to say thank you. Thank for you taking my side when mom or dad didn’t. Thank you for always asking me how I’m doing and doing everything you could to make the situation better if I wasn’t doing too well. I know the two of you care for me as if I were your own flesh and blood. I am so blessed to have gotten the two of you as my stepparents.

I’m really thankful to have all four of you in my life. You all have a special place in my heart. I don’t necessarily like the circumstances, but I’m eternally grateful to have two sets of parents who love and care for me more than I could ever imagine.

To all of the kids reading this who also have divorced parents, I hope you take away one thing. Don’t be ashamed of your negative feelings toward one set of parents or another. I know it can be an incredibly difficult life having divorced parents, but I also know that in the end, we are just as lucky to have divorced parents as the kids who have parents that are still together, maybe even more so. Two birthdays, two Thanksgivings, two Christmases. What could be better really?

Love,

A Girl With Divorced Parents