To The Family Member(s) I'm Cutting Out Of My Life,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that our relationship and the toxicity of each other's lives has caused this. I'm sorry that we could not have remained close and we are too different to get along. I'm sorry I can't have you in my life right now. I'm sorry.

We have always had our differences, but we somehow managed to get along when needed. Underneath of the smiles, jokes and laughter was bitterness for issues that never got resolved. Things that you never said sorry for and that you wouldn't own up to. I'm sure my attitude wasn't always the brightest, but after getting hurt and betrayed multiple times you can't help but to get one. I've had to build a wall to keep you and the pain you inflict out of my life, it shouldn't be that way. I should be able to enjoy the time spent with you instead of dread it, I shouldn't have to carry your stress around with me everywhere I go.

So for the best, I'm going to have to cut you out of my life. I can't have your negativity and toxicity ruining my life and adding on to the large amounts of stress that I already face. I can't do it anymore. I can't smile at you while I wonder if you'll ever apologize or if you even think what you do is wrong. Does your actions only affect those around you? Do they not come back on you?

I've used so much breath defending you and your decisions, when they should have been yours to deal with. I went behind you cleaning up your mess and apologizing for actions that were not my own. I did all of it because I love you and I didn't want any harm to come to you. I did everything for it just to come and smack me in the face. I was made a fool of, time after time again.

I love you and will always love you. You are family, that's inevitable. But I have to say goodbye, I can't allow this in my life. I can't. You have played a role in making me who I am as a person, I thank you for that. You taught me everything I don't want to be. I don't want to cause anyone the pain that you have caused me. I have learned that no matter how badly I want someone to change, they're not going to change. I would say that you don't realize how badly you hurt those around you, but you've seen and been told how you hurt those who love you. You still choose to be selfish and put your choices as a high priority over others. I'm putting my sanity and my happiness over you, I have to do that.

I pray one day you will be everything you were intended to be and that you truly change. Nobody can create that change in your life but you. I love you and pray for you everyday.