Every girl remembers her first crush, heartbreak, and first love. Each one of them has left their mark on her heart, some bigger than others. This is a letter to those who left their marks on mine.
To the boy who gave me my first love note....
I doubt you remember giving it to me. We were in second grade and you were my first crush. I don't how the knowledge of my little crush got around the playground, but it did. I was so embarrassed and was holding back tears. Then when I got back to my desk, I saw this pink sticky note with the words "I kinda like you, too" written on it. That little act of kindness meant so much to me. We never talked again, but I still have the note because you risked the teasing to spare a little girl some hurt.
To the boy who wrote me "check yes or no" notes...
You were the first boy who ever chased me. You passed me notes every day in Mrs. Land's class. You would ask anything under the sun, from asking me to sit with you at lunch to which cartoon was the best. You even brought me special candy on Valentine's Day so I would have something other than chocolate, and you saved up your dessert money for a week to buy me a carnation for my birthday. I often wonder whatever happen to you. I hope you stayed the sweet boy you were.
To the boy who gave me my first kiss...
We were really good friends. You made me laugh everyday with all your rambunctious jokes. How you didn't get me into any more trouble than you did, I will never know. You gave me such confidence to by myself and forget whatever the world thinks. I wish you and that self-confidence could have stayed in my life longer. I think you were the perfect guy to give me my first kiss (as we hid from the principal behind the office doors). Our friendship was pure and innocent just like our one kiss.
To the boy I let lead me on...
First of all, I want to say thank you. You taught me that there are people who will use me and throw me away when they're done. You were the first boy I have ever cried over, and the first to make me wonder why I wasn't good enough. I went out of my way to impress you, even as far as changing how I dressed and acted. After you, though, I swore I would never do that again for a guy. I would never change myself to try to impress another guy again. You really destroyed myself confidence, but you also made me build it back ten times stronger than what it was. So as much as I wish I never met you; I am thankful for the lessons you taught.
To the boy who wanted us to be more...
On paper you were the perfect guy. You were the cute, sweet, nice guy. Everyone said we should be together, even your mom dreamed of us together. You always remembered my birthday, and would surprise me some mornings with breakfast just because you wanted to. If this was a story we would end up in a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. Unfortunately, this isn't a story, and I never could make my heart feel more for you than just a friend. I loved you as a dear brother and an amazing best friend. You have one of the purest souls and out of everyone I know, you deserve the happy ever after the most.
To the boy who cheated on me...
You were the bad boy. The exotic one I met in a foreign land. You were the one who would pull me into corners and kiss me. You were my first date, and the first guy I almost fell in love with. You were passionate and exciting. You were the one who when you look at me made me feel like my skin was on fire. You were the first one to call me baby and say that you love me. You were also the first one to truly break my heart. When I found out you cheated on me, I cried my eyes out. But thanks to you I found out how much my new friends in college cared about me. They stayed up with me all night eating cupcakes and talking about how awful and stupid boys are. They are also the ones who took me to get three cherry slushies the next day and are the ones who told me to suck it up the day after that. I am grateful we broke up. I got to experience college being single and got to learn so much about myself as a result.
To the boy who had his own baggage...
You were supposed to be just a cute guy to flirt and dance with. I wasn't looking for anything more, but there was something about you that drew me in. Maybe it was the sadness behind your eyes or maybe it was the fact that I just couldn't figure you out. All my friends told me I shouldn't be with you, but I saw behind all the brooding that there was this really sweet guy. And at the end of the day, you proved me right. You didn't lead me on instead you just told me that you weren't in a place in your life to have a relationship. You respected me, and that's all I have ever asked any guy for.
To the boy who gave me my first serious relationship...
Our time together has been some of the happiest months in my life. You make me feel beautiful and desirable. You make me laugh with all your random noises and encourage me to sing to the radio as we drive down the road (even though I can't hold a note). You bring me breakfast when I feel sick, and take me to checkers at two in the morning because I'm starving and there is nothing open on campus. I feel like I can be completely who I am around you. You are my best friend, and are the closest any guy has ever come to my heart.
Each one of the guys has affected my life, and helped me grow into the girl I am today. I believe that everyone you meet in your life is for a reason. While I wish I could forget about some of these guys, I am thankful for the lessons they brought along with them.
