Ever since elementary school, we have been taught about what makes a person a “bully” and the reasoning behind why bullies act out in passive or aggressive ways. Unfortunately, bullying has become an epidemic; not only for young students in grade school, but is a characteristic that is possessed by people of all ages. These types of bullies spend less time stealing your lunch money, and more time trying to steal your pride. We think to ourselves, how can a person feel right about terrorizing another due to his or her mess of internal issues? Also, aren’t we too old to project our own insecurities onto others due to jealousy or for power? Does belittling another still make us feel taller? We have all been victimized before, and surprisingly enough, our own peers are often the ones bullying us.
Here is an open letter to all of the college-aged bullies left out there.
This is a message for the girl who spreads rumors about people she barely knows. When I first came into your life, you showered me with laughter and attention -- both of which I cherished in hopes of a new friendship. The more time we spent together, the more it became evident that we don’t have much in common. My ideas of success are your ideas of failure, and oftentimes, we clashed. The distinction between you and I is that I respected you regardless of our differences, and you chose to ostracize me and slander my truth. Your goal now is to turn everyone against me, when I always thought that I was on your team. Now here we are, severed by the knife you used to stab me in the back.
This is a message for the boy who thought it was acceptable to try and change me. All I ever wanted was your love and support, no matter how often we fought or disagreed. I gave you your space, I treated you with kindness and care, and I made sacrifices to meet your needs before my own. In turn, you told me I was too nice. You told me that I shouldn’t be so needy, and that speaking to each other everyday was a burden. You encouraged me to change the way I looked to meet your own preferences, and that I would look better if I listened to your suggestions. If you wanted to change everything about me, why did you decide that you wanted to be with me? And more importantly, why did I put up with this treatment for as long as I did?
This is a message for the teacher I had that patronized me day after day. My hopes and dreams were unimpressive in your eyes, and my tireless efforts always seemed to be inadequate. No students could have lived up to the standards you set for us, and you managed to dig deep enough into our pride until you found every flaw we worked so hard to suppress. I will never know why you chose a career that aims to help students grow and achieve when all you desire is to deter us from reaching our fullest potential. All I wanted was for you to believe in me.
Although these three bullies come in different shapes and sizes, they have so much in common. They are each so unhappy with their own lives that they feel compelled to tear down those that are considered threatening to them. Bullies lead very sick, depressing lives. We should feel badly for them, even though they will push us to the end of our fuses.
This is a message for the victims of bullying. You are beautiful, brilliant, and a product of the wonders that our magnificent Earth has to offer. No matter what the bullies may say, the only love you need is that for yourself. When we learn to love ourselves and to appreciate how incredible we are, the opinions of others become irrelevant. It’s true that words can cut through us and leave wounds, but we must remember that they can have the opposite effect as well. Kindness is powerful, and the more of it we unleash, the less power hatred has on us. You can break the spell. All it takes is a little love and a little time.
