To Whom It May Concern,
This is an open letter thanking every single one of my middle school bullies. I just want to take the time to appreciate each and every one of you for making such a massive impact on how I live my life today. You know who you are and this one's for you!
To the girl who called me names like "wannabe" and "fake-ass bitch" over text message, thank you for a lifetime of insecurities in making close friends. As someone I trusted for years, you were the last person I expected to turn their back on me. It's been difficult for me to let my guard down to new people ever since.
To the group of girls who made fun of how I dressed, thanks for a lifetime of body image issues. Sorry, my clothes weren't suitable for your taste even though I liked the way they looked. Buying new clothes for myself is now one of the hardest things to accomplish out of fear for wearing something that might draw me negative attention.
And to everyone who made fun of how "smart" I was, congratulations on nearly derailing my track to college. After years of taking heat for how much I loved to learn, school became the least important thing to me. I'm lucky enough that the institution I'm now currently enrolled in saw some sort of potential in me. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for the people who had faith in me.
Let me clear something up. I'll be the first one to say I wasn't the most mature person in the world back then, but come on, what middle schooler really is? I can't imagine any of my bullies were much more mature than I was, I just fed into their personal attacks rather than brushing them off. From that, I've learned to never take someone's comments too seriously. So for that, I thank you.
I also wanna thank you all for giving me the thick skin I have today. Taking all of your harsh criticism to heart helped me realize over time that there's a difference between perception and reality. Personal digs like the ones you used to make don't bother me nearly as much as they used to. I know who I am now and no longer let petty comments like yours effect my self-esteem.
Last but not least, thank you all for blessing me with the gift of compassion and empathy. It's hard to empathize with someone if you can't comprehend the position they're in or the emotions they're feeling. I never like seeing people feeling the way I did back then, but being able to help people in that position is one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. No one deserves to feel like I felt.
I'm not sure if you're aware, but it's a slow recovery process coming back from being bullied to such a degree. From long nights of crying myself to sleep to years of therapy coping with the onset of anxiety and depression, I can't say I'm completely healed to this day. I'm sure you were unaware how much of an impact your words have had on my life.
In any event, this letter is to thank you for all of the good and bad you've brought into my life. Most importantly, it's brought me a lifetime of lessons, many of which I still find myself learning. I hope for your sake that you've changed as much as I have since then.
Sincerely,
A Survivor
