William,
I was sitting at my dining room table putting on my makeup when I got the phone call. My face fell flat, my heart went to my stomach, and I looked over at my friend sitting next to me. I just stared and froze. It was the first moment in my 20 years on this earth that I actually felt like my heart was outside of my body and running away.
I don't know if I will ever be able to come to terms with the small period of time I had with you, but I know you are still here in every thing I do. You live on in my words and my laugh and my awkwardness. You live on in my adventures and my bucket-list items. You live on every time I use the words will power and existentialism. You live on every time I look in the mirror and want to give up but don't because I can still hold onto all the times you ran up to me in the hallway at school and picked me up from behind or licked my face. It was so disgusting. You always scared the shit out of me, but you made me smile so freaking big.
I want to take this time to thank you for listening to my deepest secrets at 4am, for writing me honest letters even when you were doing better things like seeing the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade or sleeping on benches in the streets of New Orleans.
Remember that one year on St. Patty's Day that you needed a pair of shorts, and I let you borrow mine:
I also want this world to know that William Lamoreaux was one of the most extraordinary people who ever lived, and your legacy is one I will share until my lips fall off.
Over two years later, and my heart is crippled by the pain some nights. Losing you so young made me realize that life is not disposable. We are not invincible. Tell the person that you love just how much you love them. Right now. Tell your mom she is pretty. Tell your friend he makes you laugh. Tell your sister she inspires you. Tell everyone everything while you still can. Build your own path, your own legacy. Will, I want to make my mark the way you did.
You still annoy me to this day. I notice when you change the radio station on me or when you mess with the music in commercials on tv. I noticed that bumper sticker the other day that said Where There's a Will, There's a Way. I know I didn't always listen to you when I should have, but I'm listening to you now. I'm listening to you now, Will.
Missing you always,
Sarah
