Let me preface this letter by saying that this advice doesn't apply to nice guys. And there are plenty of nice guys out there. But getting over a nice guy requires an entirely different strategy. No, this advice is only applicable when trying to get over a guy that is pretty much soulless, full of bad intentions, mixed signals and other jerk-like behaviors. And there are plenty of these guys out there too.
How did you, a nice, attractive, funny, smart girl end up hung up on someone who treats you so badly? And why can you not seem to get him off of your mind no matter how horrible he is to you?
Because no one is all bad. And somewhere along the way of falling for this jerk, you saw the slight glimpse of him that is good. He made you laugh, told you that you were pretty and he's probably got really great hair. Way too often we see a part of someone and mistake it for the whole. And that's exactly what you did with whatever jerk you're still pining over.
It's really easy to just laugh off whatever this guy is doing to make you so upset and tell yourself that it won't happen again. He'll use his poetic way of twisting the truth into something you want to hear and swear it won't happen again, but I think we both know that's not really going to happen. It might just be the most painful thing in the world to watch someone make excuses for someone treating them poorly and letting them get away with it, because there never is an excuse. You are a queen and deserve to be treated as such.
Now here comes the hard part. It's time to start respecting yourself. That starts with not letting yourself continue to be treated badly, which typically means severing all ties with whoever is making you unhappy. Which might seem like an impossible task right now, but think of it like a bee sting. You're never going to start healing until you pull out the stinger and patch up the wound.
Severing ties is half the battle, but the other half can't exactly be solved with pressing an unfollow button. You'd think that because he's such a bad person, forgetting about him would be a cinch. Wrong. But, whenever you find yourself sad because your song comes on your Spotify or your favorite episode of your favorite T.V. show that you both laughed along to comes on, you have to put aside what you want in that moment and remember what you deserve. And it's definitely not someone who makes you sad.
Girls have this inherent goal to fix everything that's broken. But sometimes people are too far gone and out of our control to fix. Keep in mind the kind of guy you want to end up with, and I can guarantee you that it's not a jerk like him.
Lots of love,
Someone who knows you deserve better
