You may read this, or you may not. But still I want to say hi. By the time you get ahold of this letter, if you do I am certain you have grown up enough to understand what life is all about, and more importantly what you are all about. And I’m sure you’ll smile while you remember the young 20-year-old letter sender. If I’m right, you’re probably somewhere now, in a place you’ve found happiness at, a place that has not only given you that, but everything you’ve ever dreamed: a family, a job, a life outside of the tunnel vision you’ve had for too many years to count.

Now I’m not saying you should have found your perfect happiness now as you’re only a 30 year old, but I do hope that you have found some. But I hope that whatever and whoever is around you makes your lips curve to a smile and your heart beat a little faster. If your super lucky, you’ll probably have someone extremely special by your side. And if you don’t then be okay with that, because in this life you’ve experienced a lot with love and even more with disappointment. You’ve been with the right one and you’ve longed for the wrong one, the one too far to reach. But I hope that within all that you haven’t given up. I hope that the pain our broken heart has endured just makes you love deeper. I hope that you haven’t grown to be a bitter person when it comes to all this.

Because you were always grateful that at least you’ve given love in the truest way — reciprocated or not. But then again you may have found love and might even have a family now. And if you do I’m sure you love them with all your heart, because even in the 20 years we lived you always had a soft spot for a cute baby face. Remember that.

I hope you have achieved your dream job and if you didn’t keep working towards it because nothing is ever to far out of reach. I hope you still write, and remember how even on your worst days putting the pen to paper or in this case your fingers on the keyboard can cause you fleeting happiness.

I hope that by this time in life, you’ve found the courage to truly believe in yourself. To truly do things for yourself without the worries of others judgment. Don’t be scared, to do things, to go places to try things you’ve yet to do. I hope by this time you’ve been to New Orleans, because if not stop reading right now and get yourself a plane ticket. You deserve that and your most likely need a get away. I really do hope you’re still in touch with your friends from high school and college because in the short 20 years I’ve been around, they’ve been there too by my side making the hard days easy and the easy days extraordinary.

Life has treated your fairly and unfairly and it has been both reasonable and unreasonable, but yet you did it with a smile, I hope that smile still exists. You’ve experienced failure, and rejection but you made it thus far not because of that but because even though there’s all that, there’s even more triumphs and cheers. Your life may seem boring, but it’s yours and yours to do what you want. Take advantage of that.

I want to say thank you, for becoming a woman and not the scared young 20-year-old afraid of what’s coming. For changing me in way I didn’t even think needed changing. For standing up when it was hard and biting your tongue when it wasn’t. Most of all thank you for stepping forward when all I wanted to do was look back. I am happy to have written this letter to you with the hopes that everything I have written is right. But really, more than for you, I think this letter is for me, too. A reminder, or some sort. I will see you soon.

Love always,

20-year-old me