To the person who ignores me,
I have to say nice try. I know it can't be easy to be in the same room with me. To see me happy and joyful. To see me enjoying life and no longer worrying about you. Missing you. Caring about you.
I don't know how you feel. I don't know if you miss me. If you're full of regret. If you wish that things were different. I don't know if you look at me and remember the good times, or if you're just filled with the bad ones. I don't know if you look at me and wish you could forget it all. If you wish that none of it had ever happened.
But I might never know that. I'm not even sure if you know. And that's not what matters.
What matters is that you're a child. That you've royally screwed up. That you're no longer the person I once thought you were and respected. You're not the friend I counted on, or the person I knew was there. You're not the person you used to pride yourself on being.
But maybe that's the issue. Maybe it's your pride. Maybe you are stuck on whatever events happened that have soured in your mind. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever you think I did. For however you believe I hurt you or made your life more difficult. But that doesn't change the facts.
And the fact is that you ignore me. You pretend I don't exist. You cut me out of your life like I never existed and like I don't matter. You behave as if I'm a wall in the room, instead of a person. You treat me like I'm invisible. You make me feel insecure. You make me doubt my own humanity.
But it's not because it's you. I couldn't care less that it's you. I care that as a person who cares about others and who treats others with as much compassion as I can offer, you treat me like scum. Like I'm the evil person in the world that deserves to be used as target practice. Like I'm the reason your life sucks.
That's not my fault. That's yours. Because you treat people like dirt.
Because you don't know how to be a kind human being.
Or how to treat people properly.
But let me tell you this:
I am a person.
I am a human being.
I am not a wall that you can ignore.
I am not invisible.
So get over yourself. Get over your feelings about the events that never happened. Get over your insecurity about being on the same planet as me. Get over your inability to realize that I didn't ruin your life. Get over it.
And stop treating me like crap. Because I don't deserve it.
And I'm done tiptoeing around your feelings.
Because my feelings matter, too.
Anything But Invisible