First of all, let me start by saying congratulations for making it two whole decades, for living through the last 20 years when men, television shows, movies, advertising campaigns -- and more -- have tried to keep you from realizing your potential. For pushing through the pressure society has placed on you to dream about your wedding before you even knew what love meant, for caring more about what shade of lipstick to buy more than studying for your math test, and for trying to get you to believe that because you’re a woman, you can’t possibly comprehend the meaning behind physics, history, politics, and life in general. Congratulations to you.

But sadly, it will get worse. As you get older, the pressure gets heavier, the expectations get greater, the patronizing gets rougher, and your relationships get harder to maintain because you can’t possibly have meaningful relationships while still succeeding in your career. Or so society wants you to think. You will probably be asked at one time or another to pick between having a family and having a career. But guess what? You don’t have to choose -- not if you don’t want to. Not if you believe that women can maintain both -- because we can.

But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. First, we need to embrace our twenties. Breathe it in -- you have made it to the magical land that television shows depict as both fun and sexy, but also lonely and tough. Each year that we get closer to 30, they make us believe, gets more and more terrifying. What if we aren’t engaged by the time we’re 28? We won’t have kids until we’re at least 30, and we all know if you have a kid after you’re 30 then your life is doomed!

Try not to fall into those traps because when you do, you believe your life is meant to happen in some chronological order, structured by requirements and guidelines that you don’t even know if you want to follow. And if your life doesn’t happen in that order, then you think something is wrong with you and your life. The bottom line is that nothing and no one should dictate how you live your life. You want to live single until you die? Go for it. You want to get married and have 12 kids? Go for it. It is up to you and only you. Do not feel guilty for living the life you believe will make you the happiest.

When we were in kindergarten, and we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, chances are we all had big dreams. Personally, I wanted to be President of the United States, and that hasn’t really changed much. But I’m a rare case. I’ve been blessed with a supportive family who never once told me I wasn’t smart enough, or capable enough, or brave enough to do what I wanted to do. In fact, my parents brag on how stubborn and difficult I am as a reason that I will in fact accomplish my dreams (Thanks Mom, Dad, and Coach A).

But I encourage you to think about what you wanted to be when you were little and compare that to your current dreams. Chances are your dreams have changed, and that’s okay, but remind yourself the reason why your dreams have changed -- was it your idea? Did you not feel capable enough to achieve your old dreams? Were you told, “Girls can’t have that kind of job?” If it’s any of the latter reasons, then be honest with yourself.

The point of this letter is to empower you. And despite the title, I hope every woman, whether she is 12 or 60, will read this and feel empowered. Much of the sexism, oppression, and ridicule we face all happens so casually, we don’t even notice it, and we don’t stand up for ourselves. We’ve been conditioned to accept our place in the world, and as women, that place will never be at the top of the totem pole – we’ll always be one step below men, despite our abilities, passions, and strength. And if you believe that is wrong, and I hope you do, I encourage you to change that reality. It will take a collective effort, but it can happen if we all take pride in our femininity and ownership over our past, present, and future.

I, for one, believe in you, in your dreams, and in your power. Good luck.