I'm writing this as sort of a rant, but also as what I hope to be a legitimate explanation as well as some advice to many of my friends. Here's the truth of the matter, and believe me it's ugly: In adult life, we might lose touch. It's actually very likely. Regardless, that doesn't mean that we aren't still friends.

What's the context for this article? Recently, I've received some backlash from four different friends from back in Manhattan Beach, which is where I went to middle and high school, about not being able to hang out all that often. This reminded me of last summer, wherein my girlfriend of the time was horrified that I tip 15% instead of 25%, and told me, "if you can't afford to tip that much, you can't afford to eat out," also mere days after being annoyed at me for not offering to pay for both our meals more often. These are two different points, but they stem from the same thing, and in time I will address both. These people who throw their animosity at me just don't understand, but I'm writing this post so that if they care enough to read it, they will come to comprehension.

We're Still Friends, Right?

The truth is that of the four, none of them have any right to be mad at me. Okay, I was back for a month, but I was only able to hang out a couple of times. You know, that's what happens when you're still in Manhattan Beach, and my parents have relocated to Oceanside 80 miles away. Without traffic, that's an hour and a half drive. With traffic, that's up to three hours. It's a bit much for a day trip, and unfortunately because of relocation I have nowhere to stay when I go to Manhattan Beach. My great friend Scott put up with me for a weekend once this summer, but I can't impose for much longer than that. That's just beyond rude of me.

So, for those of you mad at me, I'm happy for you that you stayed in the same family house you've lived in all your life, and I'm happy that your school is still an hour or less commute from the same beach neighborhood where you grew up. Only that's not what adulthood looks like for all of us. I have a friend whose parents moved to Orange County, and for him, getting to Manhattan Beach is a hell of a drive too. No, we're not flaky. We're just doing the best we can, given circumstances that you haven't experienced. Last I checked, not one of you has, even once, offered to come visit me here in Oceanside to hang out. And yet you expect me to adhere to your schedule and come visit you every single time, but only when you're free? You must be joking.

In the first place, I'm not twiddling my thumbs all day either. I have things to do as well, such as study for my LSAT 3 hours a day, and keep up with my fitness conditioning two hours a day. I don't get many break days from that. And sometimes, I have other, familial responsibilities. Sometimes, I suffer from episodes of depression and I just don't want to drive for three hours. Where is my understanding for any of that?

Yes, life is difficult sometimes. That's reality. But seeing me only twice within a month shouldn't upset you. I appreciate your friendship and desire to see me, I really do. Yet if you're going to get mad at me for only being able to make it twice, then how are you going to fare when all of your friends start getting married and having kids, and you can't see each other except for once every couple of years?

The Dreaded 15% Tip

Oh and for that girl all that time ago. It's easy when you live at home with your full family and have a home cooked meal waiting for you every day. I've certainly enjoyed having that this summer in Oceanside. Last year my parents were out of the country and I didn't have that. It's also nice to have a job in the area because you're here for longer than a couple of months before returning to school. I didn't have that either.

This is what a lot of people aren't understanding. I'm happy for you that you maintained that general stability in your life, and your childhood home isn't going anywhere, and your parents still have to contend with either you or your younger siblings straight up moving out. But see, that isn't the case for everyone, is it? I'm the last child, and I've moved out. My parents have dealt with me for so long, they deserve a vacation or traveling or moving wherever they please, don't you think? I accept that. And I accept that sometimes it makes it hard to hang out with people. People move physically, and people move on to newer things too. Why can't you accept that?

Some of you have yet to move out of your parent's house. One day you will, though. You'll find out that adulthood is tricky. You'll realize that I'm right, and it's hard to make it on more than a couple of different occasions to hang out. Believe me, I'd love to if I could. I love hanging out with friends. The truth though is that I can't do that.

Remember winter break? No one to stay with then, either, so I stayed in Oregon. In the first place, I wouldn't have wanted to go anyway because I was sad that my longest and best relationship had just ended, and I needed some alone time anyway.

By the way. December 22, the day my relationship ended, is consequently also the anniversary of a day when I watched people I loved die. Right in front of me. Talk about a really brutal day, right? Can you really blame me for wanting to stay alone for a bit during that time?

So here's what I need any of you who are angry at me to understand. We live fundamentally different kinds of lives. For most of you, you've maintained a stable location for a long time. You grew up in Manhattan Beach, you went to all 12 of your school years there, and now you still go back there on weekends or else still live with your parents and just commute to nearby colleges. To a degree, your college experience is looking a lot like your high school experience did. And you know what? That's fine. That's great for you. If you're happy, I'm happy, and all of you seem happy with where you are, so I'm really truly glad for you.

My Life is Different, That's OK

I go to school out of state because by the end of high school I was so sick of California and the vibes I'd felt in Manhattan Beach that I needed to escape or I'd be depressed forever. So when I moved out, my parents, who have all the right in the world to do this, decided to move as well. Now I go to school far away, and my parents live far away. I still try my best to make it when I can. But I can't always make it. And you don't have the right to ask me to. I'm trying my best, but what about you? Visit me in Oceanside if you feel so strongly about that. Hell, visit me in Oregon if you want to. My door is always open to friends. It's not that I don't want to see you. It's just that we're adults now, and that means things have changed a little, and some things have become more difficult. And if you can't accept that? Then I'm sorry, I appreciate your friendship and will to see me, but this is how things are now. We can live with it and still be friends, or you can just give up.

That's it. That's all I've got. Thanks for taking the time to read.

Mic drop. Deuces. Out.