We all know about the broke college kid stigma. And, anyone who actually is a broke college kid, like myself, can tell you that that stigma is 100% accurate. It sucks to see the kids who don't have to work, or at least not work full time and be able to just focus on school. It sucks having to work full time, pay bills and try to not let that stress interfere with school. It sucks having to figure out the career you're supposed to have for the rest of your life in a few short years, because your paying copious amounts of money you already don't have for this education. It pretty much just sucks all around.
The first couple years of college, I had it good. I went to community college, and my parents were able to pay for it out of pocket. I lived at home, had minimal bills and a job that paid fairly decent. But then I transferred. I moved away from home, got my own apartment with my boyfriend, and had to quit my job. It was then that I realized, that broke college kid thing? Yeah, that's real. That is so SO real. It hasn't been all bad though. While it has probably been the most depressing and trying time in my life, it has taught be a good number of life lessons.
Money does not, in fact, grow on trees. "Yes, it does because it's paper and paper comes from trees." That was my logic before I actually had to afford my own lifestyle. I quickly realized that no, no it does not. Not having the luxury of my parents paying the heat, electricity and water bills was a harsh reality check. Leaving all the lights on in the house was a bad habit of mine at my parents house. After we got our first energy bill? It's a good day if we have one light on at a time. Those 20 minute showers I used to take? Just a fond memory now. Those are just the big bills, not to mention rent itself, and maybe occasionally some groceries. Suddenly having to choose between paying the energy bill or having some food in the house became a real and recurring issue.
Friends really will come and go. I have never been the one to have many friends, but I have a few. Before I moved away, not only did I live within close proximity to most of my friends, I worked with them too. I was constantly out with my friends, at the mall, grabbing some food, going to the movies. Now, I am around an hour away from most of my friends. Do they come and visit? Some do. Most don't. Yet they always ask me when I will be home for a weekend, as if my drive to come see them, is any less than it is for them to come see me. And not only is the distance a factor, money is huge. I can't afford to go shopping like I used to, or to eat fast food all the time. They don't seem to get that, because they don't deal with it, so it must not be a real problem. Right? I constantly see my friends going out and doing things without me. Rarely even shooting me a text to ask how I am. I have come to understand, and accept that we are at different places in our lives (literally and figuratively). More importantly though, I have realized that I do not need to put in effort they don't. I have a few amazing friends who do come see me, and who I talk to almost daily. Why waste time in a one sided friendship?
Appreciate your significant other. Especially in a relationship like ours. We are the same age, we live together. All these depressing things I have just talked about? We are going through together. Any form of stress takes a toll on a relationship, so having as much stress as we have, makes things hard at times. Thankfully, we are fortunate enough to have a relationship that has so far been strong enough to endure these things. We have bad days, but we also know that we are each others' support system. We make sure to keep the other uplifted and remind them that this situation is temporary. We know that half the reason this situation is even bearable is because the other is there to take some of the pain away. I cannot even accurately express how much I appreciate my boyfriend. I know the stress that he deals with, and yet I see him do all he can to make my days better. It is not the most fun to have a relationship when you are broke. Before we moved, we were able to go out, take trips. Now all we really get to do is sit around our apartment we can barely afford. It takes a lot to keep that entertaining, but we have so far. I would not be nearly as optimistic as I am, if I didn't have him with me through all of this.
Your family is your biggest support system. I am quite lucky, because I don't have just two amazing parents, I have four (and my boyfriend's awesome parents as well) to support me and keep me sane. Living at home I almost took my family for granted. I have alway been close with my family, but this is different. Whenever something happens in my life, be it good or bad, my family is who I reach to first. As you get older you realize your parents really do know what's best. They give you the most solid advice. They even still love you after you continuously do the opposite of the advice they gave you. We are so extremely blessed that our families help us in any way they can, whether it's helping us with groceries, lending us money for a bill, helping us pack and move from place to place. But aside from the things they give us, the most important is that they always push us to do our best, and even when we don't think we are doing that well, they let us know they are proud of us, even for just trying.
Being broke, young, and trying to finish school can be a bit dismal at times. But I will never forget this time of my life. This is the period where I can honestly say I grew up. This has shaped the person I will become. While this is definitely not the best time in my life, I will forever be grateful that it happened because it has taught, and is still teaching me some of the most valuable things I have ever known.
