I Only Know It's Your Birthday Because Facebook Told Me | The Odyssey Online
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I Only Know It's Your Birthday Because Facebook Told Me

Mario Haimindra
Oct 21, 2015
Loyola University Maryland
98
I Only Know It's Your Birthday Because Facebook Told Me

This is the first time I've "talked" to you in over two years, but let's just pretend like it's not awkward at all. You see, just because we went to middle school or high school or whatever grade together but never spoke to each other, means nothing. I am sure that if we ever took the time to stop and talk to each other we would realize we probably have nothing in common and just end up deleting each other as friends anyways. For now, let's just pretend like I am genuinely concerned about your birthday and the embarrassing pictures your friends are going to tag you in. So, as I sit here debating if I should actually write 'happy birthday' on your wall, I think back to exactly just how close we are. That internal debate will probably last about 10 seconds but it'll probably be the biggest decision I make for the rest of the day anyways.

Of course, before I write on your wall, I'll have to actually make sure it's your birthday by stalking your timeline and seeing how many people wrote on your wall before me. While I scroll through your profile, I'll make sure you didn't just make up a birth date on your profile and then only after 100 plus people wish you a 'happy birthday', you'll make some snarky status saying "LOL, guys it's not actually my birthday today." Thanks, because I'm actually supposed to remember all my Facebook friends birthdays. You're lucky if I even remember my own. If you want to pretend it's your birthday, go to Red Lobster or something and tell them. At least you'll get a free piece of cake.

So, I am on your profile right now "Hoping you have a great day!" because that's what estranged friends are for. And sure, the only reason I actually know it's your birthday is because Facebook decided to send me a notification on my phone this morning and if I ignore it, I would feel like a complete ass. However, don't let that stop you from commenting back saying, "Thanks" or simply just liking my post and then going back to never talking to each other again. That's really just the circle of Facebook life, isn't it?

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