I am turning 20 years old at the end of the summer. In two months, I won't be a teenager anymore. Most of my friends have already turned 20, some are even closer to turning 21.
When did this happen?
How did this happen?
Am I officially considered old?
I suppose that depends on who you ask. According to the five-year reunion class at Fairfield this weekend, I'm right in the middle of the best four years of my life. When I pronounced my class year to be 2018, they laughed at how old they had become, how they don't know anyone on campus anymore and how young I am.
Yet, if you asked my cousins, they would quickly pronounce me "one of the grown-ups." I don't know what cartoons are shown on Cartoon Network and which Disney Channel stars are the popular ones. The movies and TV shows I adored growing up are now over 10 years old. We are closer to the year 2020 than we are to the early 2000s. I may not sound old, but I feel old.
Do you ever look at a group of high schoolers getting into a car and think, "No way can they drive?"
Do you realize that in a year the class of 2018 won't know anyone in high school?
I work with people who will be starting college when I am holding a real job. More of my friends are working 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. internships than summer jobs. I can't help but wonder when I got to the point in life where filing taxes and signing leases on houses has become a reality. I'm halfway through college.
I understand that age is just a number and by most standards I am still young. I still have people at work ask me if I'm old enough to serve them or work a cash register. I still am offered the kid's menu at restaurants. In one short year, however, I'm going to be able to order off the drink menu, a far cry from childhood. For the first time, I really feel old.
Turning 13 was a milestone. Turning 16 was an exhilarating mark of adulthood. Turning 20, however, feels like I am losing something. It also feels like I'm gaining the world, which is far more terrifying than I ever could have imagined. I'm expected to be responsible, to know how to cook without burning anything, to exercise and hydrate and eat healthy, to know what I want to do with my life and to hold a real job.
I'm close to graduating, to living on my own and to working for a living. In two years, I can choose where I want to live and what I want to do for the rest of my life. While it will never be exciting to sit behind the wheel of a car right after you pass your road test again, there are so many exciting opportunities and changes ahead of me.
I can't go back, but I also don't want to. I wouldn't trade taxes for high school because those papers are a symbol of who I have become and what I can do. I may not always like feeling old, but I love that I'll soon be able to say I'm not a teenager. Being 20 is a sign of responsibility, of adulthood and that is an exciting adventure I'm ready to take on.
